Happy New Year!
This is a special episode. Patty (as always) shares from the heart. Her time away from work and the week away from the podcast was not what she expected.
If you have done all the right things, this is for you. You take care of your family; you are devoted to your work, and you help others in your community. You know there is magic but there are days (maybe even weeks?) when you can’t feel it.
She shares how this hit home for her during her December break that ended up being much different than expected
We know that the Universe is working in our best interest. But somedays, it doesn’t feel that way. At all. Sometimes life is hard, difficult things do happen. What then?
Hear the two ways Patty found encouragement and the steps she took to help herself. She reminds us to have compassion and patience with ourselves.
Honor where you are.
Ask for help when you need it.
Know that it’s okay to feel your feelings.
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0:00:04.3 S1: Welcome to the space for magic podcast, where people who are led by their hearts come to learn the secrets to receiving all the gifts the Universe has for us. I’m your host, Patty Lennon. I’m an ex-type a corporate banker, turned intuitive coach using a blend of common sense, brain science and just a dash of magic, I’m here to help you create abundance in every area of your life and business. Welcome.
0:00:36.7 S2: Well, hello, there and happy new year. This is your host, Patty Lennon, and you may have noticed that there was no episode last week, I missed an episode for the very first week of 2022, and that pretty much sums up how this episode is gonna go. The reason I didn’t have an episode was intentional, although it wasn’t intentional from the standpoint of being a strategy or anything else, it was simply that when I come here to connect with you, I’d like to show up as my best self, helpful, maybe inspiring on my best days bringing you information that I hope will help you make space for Magic. The truth is though, I’ve been having a really hard time finding that space for myself, and so I made a conscious choice not to record an episode last week until I was in just a better space, literally. And I guess… Not literally, I guess, figuratively. But that hasn’t happened, and I figured, I can’t keep waiting to say Happy New Year. Right. And I realized, one of the other commitments I made when I started this podcast a few years ago, and when I started writing to my audience years and years ago, was to be transparent and to be open and honest about what was going on, because I think so often we’re served up these journeys by other teachers or speakers or writers that are tied up in a nice bow, you hear about the ending all coming together, everything resolving itself and the lessons learned at this really high, beautiful place that makes it seem that…
0:02:34.8 S2: The people you’re listening to may not be struggling the way you are, but in fact, right now, I guess I am going through a bit of a struggle, now I will say I feel a bit like a whiny person even saying that I’m struggling because all in all, my life is good, and I am feeling very strongly the thing that I know many of you have felt, which is that I should be grateful for my life and the fact that I’m not grateful for all of it right now, it makes me feel a little bit less than on the spiritual plane. What does that mean? Well, you know, when I wrote Make Space for Magic, the reader that I had in mind was a woman, although if you’re a man, please understand, or if you do not identify as a woman, please understand that. I certainly hope you read the book and you get much from it, but when I wrote it, the goal when you write a book is really to envision one reader, it and to make it specific to that reader, because that’s really what gets you the kind of dialed in focus that will serve a readership.
0:03:50.5 S2: And so my intention was to write it for a woman who was in mid-life who found herself needing to care for a lot of people who had done all the right things, whether that’s schooling or staying home with her kids or taking care of her parents or getting the right job or going to the right community or doing the right things, whatever those were, and that she had ended up in this place where it just felt like the weight of the world was on her shoulders, and she understood that there was magic in the world, but she just didn’t think it was there for her, and that one of the things she would often say is that she should be grateful for everything she had, but that she was struggling to feel that, that appreciation, that gratitude. What’s interesting is that I essentially found myself back in that space, and a lot of the reasons for ending up in back in that space had to do with other people who needed, me and I can’t quite an integrity. Share their stories because they don’t want their stories to be shared, but going into December, I had made the decision to take a month off to take a sabbatical, so there were episodes here running…
0:05:05.2 S2: But those were ones I had pre-recorded. And so I was gonna take a sabbatical that I needed this time to really re-fuel my well, and I was really running on empty by the end of last year, mostly because I had pushed out so much content while taking care of people, and that’s okay, sometimes you don’t… You take your eye off the ball, you don’t realize that your well’s gone to empty, but you make the choice to do what you need to do to refill it, and I had done that, and it took some courage because I really need to ask some people to fill in for some. Obligations, I had… And that was hard for me, but I did it and I made that space. And then three days into that, sabbatical, found out that my husband needed surgery fairly quickly, we end up having to cancel Christmas so that he wasn’t exposed to anyone before his surgery and that the surgery would basically put him out of commission and he’s on the mend he’s good. There was not like a life-threatening surgery, he’s on the mend, he’s a very good patient. He really asked the minimum, but he needed a lot of care and I lost the person that I thought was pretty much gonna take over a lot of the work I normally do around the house, so I went into December with my family, kinda set up with the understanding the mom’s.
0:06:30.6 S2: Mom needs a break. And the opposite happened. And I’ve shared here before that early on when I started my business, I went into it feeling like, Hey, I’m going to start this business, God with God. This is what I’m doing to follow my path, that this is… I’m working on behalf of God, and that God would help me grow that business, and when that didn’t happen right away, I was very upset, I felt like God had really let me down. I eventually came to realize that I expected God to do all the marketing and sales, and that was not necessarily a agreement that God made with me, and eventually I came to realize that knowing marketing and sales, learning how to do that, how to ask for your value how to talk about yourself was a skill I really need to gain, and there was a reason why God did not take that off my plate. Well, here I am, and now I feel like walking my talk, I knew I was on MD, I need to take this break, I did what I needed to do to get the break, and then three days into it was told No, and not only are not gonna have a break, your job is going to get bigger, and I felt really let down, I felt very betrayed, and you can see why I feel like a whiny brat saying that considering how very good my life is…
0:07:55.4 S2: Right. How lucky we are to have the health care we have and the insurance we have to be able to do this procedure that my husband had to go through and everything else actually that went on, we were able to do with ease because we had the resources to do these individual things that need to get done, they just took an emotional toll on me at a time where I did not really have the bandwidth to give, and it was very hard for me to keep leaning into my faith that everything happens for me and not to me, then I would say that over and over and over again, like I offered you here before, it is a mantra that can help redefine things for you, and yet I found myself in probably one of the biggest pity parties I’ve ever felt to the point where I really, I was really, really struggling to make sense of what was being asked of me, and in my better moments, I would tell my daughter about this scene in a movie that I love… I’m gonna tell you about a second because I felt like it really felt so much like how I was behaving the histrionics of my emotional roller coaster seemed absurd based on the grand scheme of things, and yet it also felt very real into the movie that I’m referring to is Birdcage.
0:09:33.9 S2: And if you haven’t seen it, please see it, it is just so funny, but there’s a scene in it where the main character… So a bird cage is based on the stage performance locals, and the main actor has been with his partner, Robin Williams, they’ve been together, I think 30 years for some long amount of time, and the actor got himself covered in a sheet and is saying… Don’t look at me, I’m hideous. And the actor is Nathan Lane, and he plays a drag queen in this club that he owns with his partner, and so he’s half in drag, half not, and just being so ridiculous, and Robin Williams as his partner who’s just also so fabulous, they’re so great together, and is rolling his eyes because clearly, Nathan Lane’s character has done this for the millions to… You just can’t stand to look at himself and is sure that Robin Williams is ready to leave him once again, and it’s all just very dramatic and funny, and honestly, I felt like that so often when I was just crying, ’cause I was… I was crying a lot, I was so upset. I tried not to let my daughter see it too much, but sometimes she would, and I just said, You know, I just feel like I’m being the biggest baby in the world, and like Nathan Lane in the scene.
0:11:14.1 S2: I don’t know if you can relate. But the reason I decided I almost didn’t record this particular episode either because I’m not back to a place where I feel super inspiring, but I think maybe as I’m starting to talk to more people, I was talking to the members in the magic lounge last week, I don’t think I’m alone in just feeling really betrayed by the universe, feeling like things are way harder than they should be, and yet also feeling conflicted because I should be grateful. Now, what’s interesting about all of this is that it gets me back to doing the basics that I teach it, I went back to the space for magic process that I do in the journal. So tracking magic, offering appreciation each day, setting intention for how I wanna feel, and it’s interesting because I’ve gotten away from that practice after I created the journal, I somehow just did so much of it so fluidly that I didn’t really need to rely on the journal as much anymore. Well, I have been holding on to that journal for dear life, like it is a life raft, let me tell you, it was reassuring for me to know that the journal does work because there were days where I just went right in it because I just didn’t feel like it.
0:12:48.8 S2: But the days where I did, within a day or two, all the magic would start to sparkle again, and then something would happen and I throw another pity party for myself and I’d stop using it, and then I’d go back to it and I wrote it… I designed it that way with the ability for you to come back to it when it works for you, so that was really lovely for me to just remember how that process came to be because the journal was designed based on a process I use after they developed I should say after my mom passed and I was really struggling to see the magic in the world, and certainly the book itself makes space for magic in their journey, I talk about it, I started re-reading it and I found the stories that I knew by heart to be comforting, just reading them on the page, all of that was lovely to see the… It helps someone who was in my mind set… Even if that person was me. But the one thing I did here, while I went through all of this, and the one thing that really did encourage me…
0:13:53.8 S2: Well, there were two things. I want to see a tarot reader who I trust, and I think this is the place where going to a reading really is helpful sometimes when you know you’re kind of just in a difficult place and you know it’s gonna end. Like, I know this is gonna end and you’ll get through it, and there’s a reason and you probably won’t see the reason until you get to the other side of it, it’s helpful to hear someone read your cards and tell you that that’s really the truth. So the two things she said when she did my reading was one, at the time I was going through was as tough as it felt, and in fact, if I wasn’t as struggling as much as I confided in her that I was… She would be worried about me because it would mean I was putting on a false front and there’s no value in that, but she said, but your team is really proud of you, your spirit team. So that was the first thing that really helped. And why I love that so much is whenever I have done readings for people who have never connected with the other side of the veil, or maybe they’ve had other readings, but because they trust me, they’re willing to hear what I have to say, and they asked me Do you know what their guides want them to know or what they’re loved in the past wants them to know, always the messages that come through or that if it’s a loved one that they love them, and whether it’s a loved one or a spirit guide that they’re proud of them, it’s amazing, with all that we think we need and want and desire to feel that someone is watching over us and is recognizing that we’re doing a good job, that some independent source is seeing how we are navigating our lives, our work, or relationships or whatever it is, and he’s saying, No, no, you’re doing a good job, that that just helps on so many levels, so I can tell you, you listening, that would…
0:16:05.0 S2: Whatever is going on, that I know for a fact that you are doing the very best you can with what you have, and that your Spirit team is so proud of you. So very proud of you. And the second thing that the tarot reader said to me, she said, Keep a lot of wine and chocolate close by. Now, why that’s particularly comforting is ’cause one I’ve been dipping into the one in chocolate quite a lot over these last couple of weeks, but also because I’ve had readings with her before and usually she’s telling me to drink a lot of water to have carrots close by, ’cause they’re a fun snack. So this is… She normally to us, she was telling me to keep the substances that she knows comfort me close by, that help me quite a bit. And so I can tell you, although, depending on where you are in your journey, maybe wine or chocolate is not the right thing to keep close by, but having your guilty pleasures when you’re going through a rough time is perfectly okay. Perfectly okay. Within reason, meaning, I did not spend every day drinking from the time I got up till I went to bed, usually a glass of wine at night, and I am proud to say I’m getting away from that habit, and a piece of chocolate, a couple of pieces of chocolate, sometimes the bag of chocolate, but not every day, because a lot of guilty pleasures in excess really do take us in the other direction, but within reason really are so helpful and within reason, you get to decide what within reason is.
0:17:47.2 S2: And no matter what you do, I promise you, your spirit team is still there, are saying that they are so proud of you. So I certainly hope that 2022 is off to a wonderful start for you, I know that this is gonna be a beautiful year because this is a six-year, you add up 20-22. So 2 plus 0, 0 plus 2 plus 2, you get a 66 is the year, the number year, and that is the number of harmony. So this is gonna be a year of harmony where as last year, I was a five-year… In five years are all about change, and change can be pretty bumpy, and I could tell you my year was bumpy right up until the last minute, and to put a period on the end of my year, as you may know, I had discovered that I have a fracture in my spine about six years ago, there’s that number six again, and one of the things that came forward because of my husband’s operation was the doctor saying, You know you don’t wanna let pain go, you really wanna pay attention to pain. And so I finally said, You know what, I’ve never really been without pain, it’s not excruciating, but let me just go back and really talk to a doctor about this, and x-rays were ordered and in December 31st, so we just write up into the last day, the doctor said, You know, I’d really like you to see a neurosurgeon.
0:19:15.7 S2: I am concerned about what I’m seeing here on the X-ray. That was the final message I got going into 2022, but as my good friend and mentor and colleague Deana Paqua told me the other day, sometimes surgery is the spiritual solution, and I think that was one of the things I was struggling with was… I was trying to be a good spiritual person, navigating this time I’ve been in, and all the tools that I have, a lot of the time, I just didn’t feel like using them, or I just felt so hard, and for six years, I’ve been trying to heal the spine with every tool out there, every holistic tool, as well as non-surgical western medicine, and it was once again very comforting to hear that sometimes what’s the easy way? And not that surgery is easy, but God, it felt emotionally, so relieving to think, You know what, maybe I just need that kind of help, and maybe that doesn’t mean that I failed spiritually, and so I offer that to you too, that sometimes what we require from ourselves spiritually just isn’t fair, and it’s not accurate, and it’s important to really honor where you are and what you need, and to give yourself that and to ask for help when you need it.
0:20:47.0 S2: So like I said, I hope 2022 has started off just wonderfully beautifully and with rainbows and articles and theories and unicorns, but if it hasn’t, just know, it’s okay to feel bad, it’s okay not to live on a spiritual mountain where you meditate away all your woes. It’s okay to engage in guilty pleasures, it’s okay to throw your hissy fits once in a while, and if you can do something that will make you laugh. Do it because it does help. And if you need a recommendation.
0:21:21.4 S1: I highly recommend the movie Birdcage, I send you my love and I wish my harmony for you in this year. I love you, I love you, I love you. Happy New Year. Hey, thanks for listening. If you know someone who needs to hear this message, please share this episode with them, and if you’re feeling really generous, I’d love for you to leave us a review at your favorite podcast app, it helps us reach many more people and it fills my heart with so much joy when I hear what you have to say about what I’ve shared. I’m cheering for your success, have an amazing day, and don’t forget… Always create space for magic.
0:22:12.0 S2: This podcast is part of the SoundAdvice network. SoundAdvice FM, women’s voices amplified.