Last week a friend confided she was sick of her grief. She lost her parent earlier this year and the fact that the loss still felt “in her face” was frustrating her.
She wasn’t confused about the fact that grief lasts. She was tired of the intensity.
The funny thing is she was the same friend that was telling me two years after my mom died that it was ok I was still crying.
We often have so much patience for others and so little for ourself.
If you are going through something, be ok with the intensity of it. That intensity means you are processing it.
Yesterday on a call with a client I was able to use the experience of my mom’s death to help her with her own issue because my wounds were healed.
It’s been six years since my mom died and I have lost count how many times that (healed) pain has allowed me to help someone else.
And I couldn’t have gotten to the place I’m in without the intensity I felt those years following my mom’s death. Nor could I have done it alone.
If you are in something, be in it. Full on. I promise you when you get out on the other side you will be better for it… not just for yourself but for someone else.
Find someone to lean on. Better yet lean on someones (plural.). Ask for help. Be honest.
You are not alone.
And if you are, like me, in a place to be the support, the helper, the leaned on… I appreciate you. There are wounds you chose to heal that got you to this place. Appreciate yourself, as well.
In love and light,