By MGAL Guest Dina Ferrante
Merriment & Ambiguity…or could be expressed as…Celebration & Uncertainty or maybe even Joy & Utter Confusion.
What a conundrum.
The merriment, celebration, joy seeking part is there for the obvious reasons. It’s December so it’s time to party! There are festive social gatherings in offices, homes and restaurants to honor varying religious beliefs or maybe just for the heck of it.
Immediately followed by New Years Eve, the mother of all celebrations that we can all be a part of regardless of who or what we believe. There is gift giving to celebrate our children, our spouses, our parents, our friends, teachers and the postman. There are smiles and laughing, exhaustion and even depression.
Celebration allows for it all!
Even so, this year, I don’t know what or how to celebrate. That’s where the ambiguity (uncertainty and utter confusion) comes in.
Apparently one cannot experience a major change in her life without a giant cloud of uncertainty constantly looming overhead, kind of like the threat of menopause.
A few months ago, my family and I started our lives anew. We left our familiar surroundings in the northeast where I had lived my entire life and ventured out west, to Colorado, where everything is big (have you ever seen the Rockies?) and awesome and surreal. I don’t know how to do the holidays here.
Actually, I don’t yet know how to do my life here.
Sure, I’ll have a Christmas tree, ornaments, gifts, family, a few friends, teachers and a postman. But I’m 45 and I’m just plain tired of celebrating in the same old way. And besides, there’s lots of uncertainty and unfamiliarity in my life so I’m not quite sure where to start.
My tried and true traditions just don’t fit in this new life where everything is fresh and unprecedented. Not only don’t I know where to go to get the best Christmas tree (my backyard perhaps?) but I don’t even know for sure that I’ll be invited to any parties. And I do know for sure that the parties that I have attended year after year will go on without me this year.
That makes me queasy.
As I wade through this mystery of the unknown, the uncertainty and the downright fear that is associated with it all, I can’t help but notice that for the first time since I found out there was no Santa Clause, I feel waves of exhilaration and wonder in the pit of my soul. The uncertainty excites me! The fact that the uncertainty excites me excites me!
Now that’s something to celebrate.
It’s that same feeling as waking up Christmas on morning to find a load of presents wrapped in colorful paper with big red bows. Maybe this year I’ll get the new bicycle or the Easy Bake Oven or the Barbie Malibu Dreamhouse.
Maybe I’ll get the life I’ve been dreaming about since I was a little girl. Let’s wish that for each other. This could be my year. This could be yours. I’m so excited for us!
If you want to reach a state of bliss…make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved and the need to judge.