By MGAL Expert Theresa Robbins
When Patty Lennon asked me to join her on the Mom Gets a Life panel of experts I was flattered, honored, and thrilled. When I heard Patty talk about the importance of putting yourself back in the number one top spot on your priority list, well, I was all kinds of cow-gone-over-the-moon ecstatic.
That’s because if I have learned nothing else, I have learned the importance of putting myself in that number one spot on my priority list.
Now I may be preaching to the choir here, after all, you recognize that putting yourself back in that numero uno spot sounds like a groovy idea, but there can be a vast sea of what-the-hell-is-going-on-here confusion and discomfort between the idea of being your number one priority and actually being your number one priority.
Girl, you are not alone.
I have been practicing this concept for years.
But before you turn around and hightail it back to safer ground, hear me out.
Changes, especially big left curve life changes, start with a beautiful swan dive – or in some cases a big ole belly flop – into the sea of confusion and discomfort. They start with feelings of hesitancy, nervousness, anxiety, and even fear.
It’s normal because there truly is so much unknown. You don’t know what’s on the other side of the life change. You don’t know what you might encounter along the way. You don’t know anything other than what is happening right here, right now. But that’s okay. It was also last month’s article so check that out if uncertainty has you freaked.
My point is that putting yourself back on your priority list is a left curve. It’s just an internal left curve. It might not seem to be on the same level as a divorce or losing a loved one or losing your life savings, but, and I say this with utter love, that’s just your perception.
Significant change doesn’t always come from some event outside of you. In fact, it’s always about what’s going on within you. It also takes time and practice.
I’m guessing that you spent many years getting to and being in the low-woman-on-the-totem-pole position in your life. Getting back to the number one spot probably ain’t gonna happen overnight.
To get there, allow those feelings of discomfort, confusion, fear, anxiety, nervousness, hesitancy or any other shitty emotion that pops up. They’re gonna happen as you challenge your old way of being and start practicing the tools and techniques that you’re learning to move into a new way of being. And that’s a beautiful thing.
Those crappy feelings are evidence that your attempts are working. When you feel them, you can be sure that things are heating up and your intention to fall in love with yourself and your life has been heard.
So you might be wondering how the hell to “allow” your feelings. What does that even mean?
It simply means that you don’t resist them. And that means that instead of eating something, spending too much money, drinking too much wine, getting busy, or finding some mindless task to distract yourself, you actually honor your feelings by feeling them.
It means not judging yourself for feeling bad. It means accepting that it’s okay to feel like crap. It means accepting that it’s okay not to know what the hell is going on.
Lest you should forget, You are all that. You are worth it. And You are not alone.
Big life changes (regardless of the type of change) are designed to bring up your stuff. They are designed to bring up your issues and problems. Challenges will arise.
But it’s okay.
Working through it all is the key to true learning, growth, and being the woman you want to be in the world.
So when you feel like something that the dog just yacked up, seek support. Notice what’s going on in your head. Journal it. Use the forum. Read some of the blogs. Listen to a Mom Gets a Life call. Try a tool you learned. Pat yourself on the back for being courageous enough to make this change. And know that you are safe.
Oh and by the way, by doing all of this – honoring your feelings, giving yourself time, and seeking support – notice that you already have put yourself right smack dab at the top of your priority list.
I’m just sayin’… 🙂
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