Patty is talking about peace today. Claiming your peacefulness within yourself no matter what’s going on in life will help you create a life of satisfaction.
Having an inner world of peace doesn’t mean walking through life disconnected from what’s happening around you. Knowing what is true for you brings that inner state of steadiness.
Get the breakdown on Patty’s recommended detox. It’s a complaining detox. This shifted lots of things for those in receiving school. Be willing to commit to release complaining.
It doesn’t have to be hard. Patty shares the 3 steps that will help. Awareness is just step one.
Not complaining doesn’t mean you can’t have feelings of anger, or disappointment or frustration. Feelings are not right or wrong. Patty outlines how you can honor your feelings without complaining.
It’s 100% about releasing resistance to all the wonderful things that you want. It’s all connected. There’s a ripple effect in all aspects of life.
This is not about negating your emotions. Patty explains why doing that gets the “law of attraction” positivity part wrong. Blocking emotion is blocking everything else too.
You’ll want to hear how to give yourself grace to feel what’s real without the desire to blame or complain. It’s life-changing!
(Step 1 Complaining Detox)
Welcome to the wealth and purpose podcast where people who are led by their hearts come to learn the secrets to creating wealth in a way that feels really good and live their purpose fully in the process. I’m your host, Patty Lennon. I’m an ex type-a corporate banker, turned intuitive business coach. I’m also a wife, a mom to two pre-teens, a professor, girl scout leader, and well.. Hey, you get it like you, I wear a lot of hats. Whether you’re looking for inspiration to get started or strategies to get growing. I am here to help you create abundance in every area of your life in business. Welcome.
(00:40) Well, hello, there and happy day to you, and I hope things are already going really well for you. We are. Oh, my goodness. We’re like three-quarters of the way through January of 2020 can you believe it? Yeah. I’ve talked in the last couple of episodes of this year. How I got off to a slow start. Typically I have my year planned in late November, early December of the previous year, and that just was not what was happening this year. It just wasn’t how things were working out, and I’m going to keep repeating this message cause I can tell based on the feedback I’ve been getting that people really need to hear this, that your energy and your flow is the most important piece of information you can use when planning when taking action when resting, all of it. Developing the ability to resist social pressure around where you “should be”, is really going to take you on the path of your greatest abundance, your wealth, your prosperity, your, I guess those two things go hand in hand, but the joy, the pure joy you experience at any given moment and also, and here’s a really important one, the peace you experience at any given moment because peace is possible.
(02:07) No matter what is going on in your life, you can be in crisis, you can have something really difficult happening, and you can still be peaceful within yourself. And I’m really stressed out because to me the shifts I’ve made over the years as I’ve grown and been on my own path have really taught me that being able to get back to a place of peace within yourself, even when you can’t be happy, even when you can’t be robustly joyful because things are going, you know, not ideal, ideally the way you want them to, that that peacefulness will create a life of satisfaction. And certainly, if you’re looking at, you know, what can I do to make my life better? How do I go? Whether life is good or even great and you’re looking to go the next level, or something’s going on that you want to climb out of, you know, whatever that is.
(03:09) Creating this inner world of peace. And I’m not talking about looking like a Buddhist monk, although I have mad respect for Buddhist monks. But you know, I think when we talk about in our peace, we think of this person that sort of walks through the world with like a, almost like disconnected energy to what’s going on around them. And I’m not talking about that. I like being connected. You know, I like as much as I don’t like the discourse that’s happening in my own country, which is this, the States around politics, you know, I think there’s a value in, in robust debate. Like I think there’s value in having adventures and excitement and getting caught up in the human experience of being human. I don’t look to escape that myself personally, but that doesn’t mean you still can’t contain an inner sense of peace.
(04:01) And that inner sense of peace comes with steadiness. It comes with knowing what is true for you. And in that spirit, I want to talk about a detox that I think is so important for all of us to take. And that is a complaining detox. So a few jumped into the year and thought, you know, Oh God, I gotta detox my system. Maybe you drank, or you ate too much, maybe didn’t do enough exercise, whatever it is, and you’re looking at physical detox. I will tell you that just energetically, this isn’t the best time to be detoxing. At least if you’re in, you know, the States or Western Europe or Canada, other parts of the world, I know because it’s warmer in certain places it may be detox is okay, but you know where we’re heading towards the colder weather, it’s not really ideal time to detox conceptually. And the best times to detox are right around the spring equinox and the fall Equinox that three weeks before and after.
(05:05) So doing a physical detox isn’t always, you know, ideal for the right at the start of the year. Now that doesn’t mean you can’t be drinking more water and not consuming toxins, but there is a detox that you can do any, any time of year, which will really create so much abundance in your life. It’ll allow you to receive more. It will clean up things in ways you cannot imagine. And that is the complaining detox. So the complaining detox is something we do very early on in the receiving school. And you know, our participants were astounded by the benefits that came from this. And so I really want to offer this to you as a process to really embrace, even if you can’t do it full-on, just try. I know there’s Yoda says “don’t try do,” but the reality is that actually being 100% purest with this complaining detox, if you’ve never done it before, is pretty challenging.
(06:10) So it’s really, I want you to embrace it but embrace it with a sense of um, Oh, what’s the words? Like a willingness to just step into it and be willing to fail, but get back up and start again. And so with a complaining detox, what you or I, if we’re doing this or committing to doing is to releasing complaining. And the steps are simple. You just first stop verbalizing complaints and certainly, whether it’s written or verbal, putting them out into the world, and then you work on releasing them even in your thoughts. And, and you can do this all at once, but if you were going to stage it, it’s, you know, just first stop putting the complaining out there, right into the world and writing and speech, whatever. And then, and then work on your thoughts. And the final part that you’ll start to realize that’s so cool is that when you start to become super conscious of your complaints, especially when you’re in your head and you’re thinking about what you’re thinking about, what you’re going to find, is that the person that you complain about the most or the thing or the situation is you.
(07:22) Isn’t that unfortunate? Isn’t that something? I think that was the biggest awareness people got when they did the complaining detox for the first time. And so I’m kind of telling you the end of the story before you get there, but that’s what you’ll find. Or at least that’s what most people find. So the questions I get when people engage as complaining detox is, well, you know, what do I do when someone does something to me, or something I don’t like happens. You know, how do I stop myself from thinking I wish that didn’t happen or that person’s such a jerk or whatever the thought you have. And here is the good part, the fun part, the upside of this. Maybe not fun, but definitely, the upside of this is you get to have opinions. You can state facts to yourself, especially the key is to get unhinged from your attachment to complaining and actually drop into what the truth is.
(08:27) And what that means is that let’s say someone speaks to you in, in a really sarcastic way and they’re very dismissive of you. Or maybe you witness them treating someone else like that. And so your reaction would be like, wow, that person is so mean. That person’s a jerk. That person is whatever, fill in the blank. What you’re doing there is complaining about them. And so what you really want to do is drop into the truth in that moment. And so let’s just focus on that. They did it that you observed them doing it to someone else, so it’s not such a personal situation. Then then you can get to the truth of, wow, I really don’t like seeing one person speak to another person that way. And right now, I’m feeling hurt on behalf of the person that was dismissed. You know?
(09:23) I really feel like there’s some negative emotion coming from that person that was dismissive. And you know, now that I think about it, I’ve observed them being like that before. And you know what? I don’t think I want to be around people like that, and I don’t think I want to be around this person. All what I just described is you connecting to the truth of how you feel. And that is perfectly fine. That’s not complaining. And the reason that the complaining detox is so powerful for receiving, for allowing an abundance and for really creating positive changes in your life. Is it the complaining that we do and I’m raising my hand, I’m with you. You know, I’m not, I’m definitely not absolved of this particular sin. We all do it. The thing is complaining is a lazy way of avoiding our truth. And it’s almost a process that our brains kick in to, you know, kind of distract us from our truth.
(10:30) Keep us from actually making changes and actually keeps us stuck in really negative emotions and situations and occurrences. And it keeps us from receiving the reality of our situation. When we remove complaining, what starts to happen is we get underneath the layer of being able to brush off what just happened. You know, sort of complaining is this pressure relief, a pressure release that happens around a difficult situation or circumstance or occurrence, and when we don’t allow ourselves to give us that little hit of relief, then we’re left with staying with what the reality is. And here’s the coolest thing. When you allow the reality in, when you allow what is true to come in, that’s when you start to discover solutions. That’s when things start to move. A complaint is like you holding your hands up and like kind of pushing off what’s happening.
(11:38) Whereas if you don’t complain and you receive what’s happening, and you allow the truth in of what’s happening, then energy is moving, and resistance is not happening because here’s the cool thing about receiving. Here’s the cool thing about changing your life and getting all the amazing gifts the universe is delivering to your doorstep, is that once you have a desire for something, happiness change, abundance of any form, the universe starts delivering it to you. And you’ve probably heard this before, but it hasn’t always shown up. So then the question is why. And so much of the law of attraction books in the manifestation teaching out there is you know all about visualization and getting clear on what you want in all of this. And, and to an extent, that is part of the process and is helpful. the biggest part of the process is to actually release resistance in every form.
(12:40) And the thing is you can be putting up resistance to a negative situation. And logically it doesn’t seem, even if it’s like about a relationship, let’s say, and you would think that’s not related to my money, right? It is. Or you’re resisting looking at your, you know, maybe some debt and thinking that isn’t effecting bringing in the love of your life or a good friend or maybe a new team member. They’re all connected. Receiving is receiving is receiving. And so whenever you work with releasing resistance in any part of your life, it actually creates this ripple effect in all parts of your life because the resistance is resistance is resistance. So when you stop complaining, you immediately drop resistances that you currently have. Now probably if you’ve heard, don’t complain in the past, it’s been around the topic of it just generates negative energy, and that is 100% true.
(13:43) And once you start releasing that negative energy, you are naturally increasing your vibration. And as you have a higher vibration in your life, you’re going to invite in higher vibing people, abundances, opportunities for sure. So it works on that level. But the reason I don’t like to talk about that as much as the releasing the resistances piece is that that thinking can lead you to believe that being upset about something, that being said about something, that being angry is somehow affecting your ability to let in abundance of any form. And the reality is that’s not true. If you are experiencing a clean emotion, like we’ll go back to that circumstance where let’s say you are watching someone be dismissive to another person, and you’re feeling pain from that in that moment, that’s actually clean pain. That does not affect your ability to receive goodness.
(14:47) But what has happened in that moment as you’ve been given a truth? And if you ignore the truth that you do not like to be around people like this, that this, this is not okay for you. And if you feel it, your truth is to stand up for that other person or maybe support that other person that’s being dismissed by encouraging them or something like that, then that will mess with your flow, right? You do need to take action where action is clean for you, but sometimes the clean action for you is for you to remove yourself from the situation. Sometimes the clean action for you is for you to remove that toxic person from your life, but simply having been present for something that was negative and then feeling some clean pain around it isn’t going to mess with your abundance and that’s where a lot of the manifestation teaching and the law of attraction teaching really starts to confuse things because what happens is if you convince herself, but you need to be positive all the time, then what happens if you’re negative?
(15:48) Well, at least this is what I’ve seen with a lot of people, and it’s what I did a lot for a long time before I started to really understand this, is then you start beating yourself up for being negative, and then you start trying to be like, I’ve got a scurry out of this negativity and get to this positive place, and I’ve got to be positive. And then you’re like trying to power into positivity. And when what you’re really doing is you’re shoving down real emotion deep inside of you and that shoving down and holding that down inside of you requires the most resistance ever. And so it actually blocks the good stuff from coming in. Whereas when you lean into this complaining detox, and you no longer allow yourself to complain, what happens is then you can start to see, but what’s the truth?
(16:37) Because it doesn’t mean everything’s rosy. If you’re not complaining, it means that you’re no longer using this dysfunctional way of dealing with negativity. Now, of course, the ripple of that is when you stop complaining, especially when you’re putting it outward, you stop every time you send something out, it’s gonna come back to you. So when you’re no longer putting those negative vibes out by complaining, you stop all that negativity from coming back into your life. And that’s sort of that, you know, that positive aspect of it. Now I did say earlier, if you are doing this and really doing it with like a full participation, that’s what you’re going to find is that the person you complain about the most is yourself. And that to me is the coolest part of this because when you no longer let yourself say bad things about yourself, wow, then girlfriend, you become unstoppable.
(17:38) Unstoppable. When you’re no longer messing with yourself by saying a bunch of lies that are just knee jerk reactions to sort of protect yourself from what you think are your flaws, then you can really start looking at, you know, what’s going on and really create positive solutions. So, for instance, you know, I’ve said, it’s taken me a little while to hit the ground running. And I would say, right now I’m hitting the ground walking into this year. I don’t know that I’ve hit the ground running yet, but the old me would’ve said, Oh my God, it’s the third week of January, and I’m still not, you know, revving up, I’m still not doing some big old splashy launchy, whatever, whatever, in my business or maybe off, you know, I still haven’t gotten back into the rhythm of my workout. I’m so lazy, or I’m so this or I’m so that I don’t do that anymore.
(18:34) And the alternative to that is to give yourself grace. And so what that looks like, and again, I’ll just say for myself, but I could give you so many descriptions of the same thing happening with my clients. So when I came into the new year without that energy, and I said, okay, well it looks like the energy for this isn’t, isn’t here yet. And so, you know, what does that mean? And so I then took a look at it and said, okay, so I’m, is this clean? Like is it really still time for me to go slow, or am I scared of something? Is this me sabotaging myself? Is this me being afraid to take the next step? And in the beginning of the year, it was not sabotage. It was that I was still very much in a, in a very slow-paced hibernated state. And that was really important for me.
(19:30) There were external factors like I was closing my dad’s estate, and it was giving me space to grieve in a way I hadn’t been able to last year or while I had so much, you know, logistical things to do around his being no longer on this planet. And then there was just an energetic thing going on for me. The natural energy right now is hibernation, and it was really alive for me. And, and so then I could really say that that was the case. But last week, I started a 30-day writing sprint. What that looks like is as I’m working with my publisher to get my book done for these 30 days, I’m writing out like a lot of words every day, and it’s so tempting to not write and to not feel like it, and it’s bringing up stuff. And I saw the other day that my not going to the gym was really a result of wanting to just hide and then that’s something very different, and then that means I need help.
(20:41) Either I’ve got to give myself the help, or I need to go find the help. Maybe the help is, and I did this, got one of my besties, my business bestie, is to help me get clear about what this book was going to mean for me and for you potentially and for other people and the importance of it. And then also knowing that I’m going to write better if I’ve gone to the gym and that just because the book gets written doesn’t mean it has to get published. Right. This is always a trick I use with my clients too. It’s like, just because you finish, it doesn’t mean you have to put it out to the world. Let’s finish it first and then see where we are with it. Right. And then because I’m not complaining about myself, I’m able to give myself the love and the grace and the kindness and the support that I need.
(21:29) And it doesn’t instantly make writing. You know, in my particular case, it didn’t instantly make writing easy and certainly still getting up at 5:00 AM, and going to the gym, it has not become, you know, has not returned to being a habit yet. So it’s still not easy, but I’m awake inside of it, unconscious inside of it. I know that even though it feels hard to get up, that it’s just me being scared and trying to stay stuck. And then because I know that and I’m not complaining about myself, then I can start to give myself extra kindness. It’s so simple and obvious, and yet we don’t see it. If we’re in the process of complaining is on the mornings when I get up, you know, and I’m going to the gym because it’s not every single morning that I do that. The super early morning classes I have the night before I put out this really warm, fuzzy blanket.
(22:31) So I know as soon as I get downstairs I’ve got, I can cut a lot for a couple of minutes and just give myself some extra cuddle time, and I have my coffee always need. And so I have my warm cup of coffee, and then I have a book of like not meditation. This is book of like a daily stories that are really nice. And so I have that right next to the chair where I’m going to sit. So I have it ready because I know I still feel a little vulnerable with the writing that I’m doing. So instead of complaining, taking me down this road of trying to beat myself into submission, now I’ve added in extra comforts that help make me feel a little more safe or more cuddled in the, in this vulnerability I’m feeling as I’m writing. What I want to encourage you to do right now is just commit to the complaining detox, and if you want to download something that gives you some more words and explanation around the value of this, grab my five steps to receiving guide that I have out.
(23:33) It’ll be so helpful to you and will talk you through the complaining detox. That’s step number one. It will also give you four other strategies to use that you can, that will take no time at all. Like obviously, the complaining detox is, is somewhat negative amounts of time because you’re not going to have to do anything extra. It just going to stop doing some things and then each of the other four exercises or steps, and you can do them in any order. We’ll take a less than, I think they all take less than five minutes, and they’re all powerful ways to start allowing him more goodness, more abundance, more love into your life. So you can grab that a Patty lennon.com forward slash receiving guide. We’ll put the link in the show notes and um, to start just right now, commit to, I am going to give myself five days.
(24:28) Just start with five days. I encourage you to keep going with it after the five, but just commit to five days of no complaining. So if you can do that one thing, then you can start to take it step by step, which is you’re not going to put any complaints out to the world. Then you’re going to lower the volume on the complaints inside. And then finally you’re going to work with your truth. So, uh, I wish you an amazing, amazing rest of this very first month inside this new decade will, assuming you see it as a new decade, I know there’s some discussion over whether 2020 or 2021 is the start of the decade, but whatever, it’s a new year. It’s a new lots of new right. Or in a January mom, which is a one month. So beginnings, enjoy it, enjoy fresh starts. Allow yourself to be here and allow yourself to clean that energy so that you’ve got this nice fresh, complaining free environment for yourself, sending you so much love and Hey, if you know someone that needs to hear this, send them this podcast so they can do the cleaning detox with you. Have a great day.
Hey, thanks for listening. And if you know someone who needs to hear this message, please share this podcast with them. And if you’re feeling really generous, I love for you to leave us a review on your favorite podcast app. It helps us reach many more people, and it fills my heart with so much joy when I hear what you had to say about what you heard, I am cheering for your success have been amazing day.