In clearing out my dad’s condo I unearthed 9 dealer-issued car keys. That does not include the 2 other keys that look like they were made in some underground car key supply chain.
I don’t hold my dad responsible for these keys. I’m fairly certain it was my mom who acquired all of them.
My parents were depression era kids who wasted nothing. It was not like them to have an excess of anything…. Except keys. I also found 12 mailbox keys and untold numbers of front door keys. (Dear Lord, please let the new buyer plan to change the front door locks so I can turn these keys into a multi-media art project about my mom’s lovable quirks).
Although I don’t know the precise story(s) that led to my parents acquiring 9 additional keys, I can guess. My mom probably left an extra key in a coat pocket, decided she had misplaced it and it was never to be found. Always wanting a backup key to be available she procured another… and another … and another.
My mom died 7 years ago. The car is 16 years old. That is a key-per-year while she was alive.
God, I love that woman.
The truth was that my mom had more than enough keys but never felt like she did. I’m guessing she was in a complete state of unease each time she made the choice to get another key. “AGHHHH I might be on the road, lock myself out of my car and NO ONE will be able to help me!!!”
(It should be noted that my mom never locked herself out of her car and had solid gold roadside assistance even if she did.)
I find that similar patterns happens with my clients.
Oh who am I kidding – they happen with me as well.
We feel a level of unease or insecurity and grasp at a something outside of ourselves without looking critically at what we REALLY need.
I often hear from clients that for so long they felt they couldn’t charge more because they didn’t have a certain kind of certification or degree (They didn’t have enough “validation keys”). But after they invested in the certification or the degree were no more prepared to charge more and realized they have to stop acquiring certificates (aka validation keys) and learn how to market and sell the brilliance they ALREADY possessed.
And it’s not just about certificates. I see this in the self-care department.
“I can’t invest in this type of support until I make more money” is the rally cry of so many with no clear idea of what “more money” actually looks like. It’s just a vague idea that they don’t feel “safe” enough to invest this way and are hoping if they get enough “money keys” they’ll get there.
A multi six-figure client just invested in her first house cleaner. We celebrated and she admitted she didn’t do it sooner because she just didn’t feel like was making enough money yet. Curious, I asked her what that amount would be. $500,000. She believed 1/2 million dollars would justify a house cleaner…. That charges $250 a month. (She had MORE than 9 money keys already.)
I could go on and on. The mom who doesn’t feel she can invest in yoga classes because she doesn’t make the “money keys” herself. The kid who acquires yet another pair of new sneakers because he is searching for “validation keys.”
If we don’t actually slow down and take stock of what we already have that can unlock the doors we want to open, we will stay stuck, constantly waiting for our success and self-worth to come at some future date when we have “enough” to justify it.
You don’t need another “money key” or “validation key” to go after what you want.
What can you do today to feel safe enough to give yourself what you truly need?
If my mom had done this right before she acquired that last key she would have found herself with 8 extra keys! Instead of worrying about losing “the last key” she would have confidently known she had WAY MORE than she could possibly ever need and drove around town like the key-owning rock star she was:)