We all know that life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. There are dark times as well. Today, Patty is sharing another book excerpt about how we navigate through those times.
No one is immune to difficulties. The last 18 months or so, the entire planet has been dealing with a pandemic and the resulting uncertainty. Today’s episode will help you see the challenges in a new perspective.
If you’ve feel that despite all your best intentions, and despite being open to what the universe provides, the result that is showing up is not what you need, this is for you. If life feels unfair and unsettled, hear how Patty provides a way for you to find hope and peace of mind.
Today she reads from chapter 7 of Make Space for Magic: Learn to Receive Love, Abundance, and Support from the Universe.
This is a story told in Patty’s unique voice, but it’s something we can all relate to. How do we let go when pain shows up? Your situation(s) may be different, but our responses are likely similar.
It’s okay to let go, and let magic in.
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0:00:04.5 S1: Welcome to the space for magic podcast, where people who are led by their hearts come to learn the secrets to receiving all the gifts the Universe has for us. I’m your host, Patty Lennon, I’m an ex-type a corporate banker turned intuitive coach using a blend of common sense, brain science and just a dash of magic I’m here to help you create abundance in every area of your life and business. Welcome
0:00:36.6 S2: Hey there, welcome to this episode of the Space for magic podcast. I’m your host, Patty Lennon, and today I’m gonna continue on a theme that I started last week, it seemed to work out pretty well, which is where I read a piece of my new book makes base from magic in the context of something I’m learning myself. So last week’s lesson was that sometimes we make it hard when it could be easier, and this week I wanted to talk to you about navigating dark nights of the soul, These are periods in our life where suddenly everything just starts going wrong, or emotionally or energetically, we feel submerged. And we don’t know why it’s happening. We are as a humanity going through a dark night of the pandemic, as shared in, but certainly there was lots of reasons for that dark night of the soul to happen in the hero’s journey or the heroin journey. The dark side, that night of the soul is necessary for us to get to the next expression of our life, to come through and become the person were meant to become, it’s all about evolution and elevation of life experience, but it’s the dip before the dawn, and it can be scary.
0:01:53.2 S2: I myself was plunged into a dark night of the soul just a couple of weeks ago, and I’m not gonna share the details of it yet, I will hear at some point, but I haven’t fully come out of it yet, and so navigating it privately until I’m clear on exactly what’s happened, seems a more appropriate and healthy way to share it with you, but in the meantime, I was just looking through my book to see if there was something in here that felt relevant to that, and so I came upon a story and I’m gonna tell it to you now, it’s a piece of my book, like I said, but before we get into that, what I want you to know is, if life has felt hard, especially if you’ve been experiencing any feeling of the sense of the hardness is unfair that you did everything, right? Even spiritually speaking, energetically speaking, and somehow you got handed a result that feels unjust, unfair, confusing. I’m gonna share with you the information that gives me peace, it’s what I share with my clients, and I strongly encourage you to really call this into yourself when that’s happening, it is important to remember you are in the middle of the story, not the end of it, and if you can just keep reminding yourself, this is not the end of the story, I am still in the middle of the story, and the divine has not yet finished the ending, there is more to come, and that means that we just need to be patient and I can tell you from personal experience right now, that patient is hard.
0:03:35.0 S2: I get it. So let’s jump into the middle of make space for Magic, where I am sharing in chapter 7 my story, one of the turning points in my journey in creating space for Magic. So at this point in the book, I’ve talked about the way that the universe of the divine delivers whispers and nudges and wax to us, different ways that it kind of tries to re-re-orient us to what is going on and also to help us learn surrender which is a lot of what this particular dark Nite, the soul for me is a ballad, it’s what the one that humanity as a whole of going through… And if you’re going through one, I suspect that is the case. So we’re jumping into the middle of the book. And here we go, for control freak and perfectionist like me, surrender is close to a curse word, is as close to a curse word as I know for us, our safety centered in exactly one place, our ability to get things done, to make things happen, to fix to heal others. Surrender means letting go of what we have come to believe, and what the world has taught us to believe is our super power, any good self-help or spiritual course will have surrender at his foundation, and yet as much as I’ve spent my life studying spiritual principles, bursting Catholic school, and then on the path I am on now, I have not come across a how to surrender process anywhere it is because the how-to part is so elusive that the universe offers us these nudges, these walks and these boulders…
0:05:12.6 S2: That’s a concept I talk about in book approach. Later in this book, I’m gonna give you what I believe is as close to how to un-surrender as again can get, but the reality is, unless you’ve experienced a few wax over the head is unlikely you would even have the desire to keep reading. Surrender is a lesson I can’t teach alone. We can’t truly appreciate the lessons until the universe has laid the ground work, the universe nudges and wax us not to hurt us, but to wake us up to the truth, she begs us to understand, control is not in our hands, however much our reality may try to convince us otherwise. Only when we let go. When we surrender can help from the divine flow in, the universe has our backs always and she is determined to make sure we know it, if the younger has already opened your heart, then how to surrender lesson will be much more valuable to you. What I most hope is that this book has caught you before you’ve been hit by too many, you’ve been hit too many times over the head… I also hope that I’ve been hit over the head enough for both of us, for all of us, and that you can learn from my boulders, like any determined accomplished woman, I need to get hit pretty hard pretty often before I found my way here.
0:06:23.5 S2: Never was at there then a few years ago, that encompassed my mother’s cancer diagnosis and ultimate death, when I remember myself during those two years, what I see is a woman who is desperate to fix everything and save everyone that you lost herself from the vantage point, 8 years later, what I should have done it so obvious how I could have made life so much easier on myself by creating space for magic that I so desperately need it, but the risk in surrender, I believed was too great. Next section, the doctors found something. The doctors found something. The day my mom told me she had cancer can be told in two ways, from the perspective of the person I was then and the one I am now, if I tell it to you from a current perspective, you’ll see everything I see now, and the lessons will be so obvious, and yet it wasn’t obvious to me, then I was so consumed in a chaotic voltaic-ing out the pieces of truth was difficult, I just left my position at the bank and was riding high on the fumes of the unrealistic optimism that came in early stages of entrepreneurial.
0:07:30.6 S2: I was taking courses and learning and playing at being a business owner without facing the actual real work of marketing, sales and business planning. My husband and I were outside, I know cold ISAC as our children played, my son wrote around and around on his little bike while we pushed our daughter in a plastic card, it was not my knowingly boring to be out there going around and around, but the day was beautiful, and I was trying to drink in the sun and the fresh air, I suspect that what I really wanted was to be back inside on my computer or dreaming up new stuff about my business, things like logos and colors and names, the stuff that new entrepreneurs believe matter, but are secondary to the real work, although my memories of that day or something of a blur now, the only thing that remains crystal clear is the image of my parents walking towards the call to sack, having parked a few spots down on our street, looking back, I can now see, I heard the first whisper, the first message I was meant to wake me up, whispers when understood help you prepare to remind you to open to the health of the universe, when we don’t understand them, we swat them away like annoying that…
0:08:38.2 S2: My whisper at that moment with a Eldad was standing next to my mom as they walked towards us, my mother dropped by all the time to your favorite people, her grandkids, but my dad rarely joined her, although my dad was the first to get down and play with the grandkids, when we visited him, he was just a home body and that was that. So when I saw them both walking towards us, something buzzed around the edges of my brain, something that said, This is different, this is important, after the kids got their hugs and kisses, my mom asked so she could talk to me alone. Whisper, whisper, whisper. I ignored that. I told her, shore, and that took my kids and Dad inside. In that moment, I would have told you I didn’t suspect anything, but looking back, I can tell you that I was using a tremendous amount of energy to ignore all the warning bells going off deep down inside me, for those with toxic independents, the ability to take a stress response and turn it completely to the mute position is a pretty normal strategy, we take every emotion that could possibly need anything from us, fear, sadness, overwhelmed, and placing in a box, a box we’ve learned to keep tightly shot.
0:09:46.0 S2: So although I would have told you I had no idea what was coming. The truth is, my body was saying, Warning, warning, something really hard and scary is coming, bring in reinforcements, but when we’ve learned to rely only on ourselves and lock all our needs up in a box, we make it impossible to access the health available to us with all my warnings lock tightly away in a box. My mom told me that when the doctors had taken a scan of her shoulder after a recent procedure, they had found something, I’ve come to load those words, My mom was the first one to say them to me, but I’ve been through so many journeys with people, I love that I’ve started with the doctors, found something that I can genuinely say those words, so I don’t remember much else about that day, but here’s what I do remember in that moment, as my mom told me she had learned cancer, I know she was ready to hold me, she was ready to open her arms and hold my pain, she was ready to be my mother, and I couldn’t let her… I’m not sure I could even access the little girl who needed a hug that day, I had put her away so long ago, and learning to find her would take the next two years.
0:10:57.6 S2: I was ready to move on to details, planning. Learning what we could do to fix this. She asks, Are you okay, Patty? Prides were searching for the pain, the who was there and unable to reach it, I couldn’t let her and then… But eventually that changed, two years later, knowing she wouldn’t be alive much longer, we often sat talking, I was able to drop fully into those conversations because by then all the nudges, the whispers in the wax from the universe had finally accomplished some of what they were trying to do, after two years of trying to save my mother intervening on her behalf, researching treatments, advocating for care and running on empty most of the time, hitting roadblock and disappointment over and over again, I finally learned to surrender, I used every ounce of my energy trying to save my mother, but ultimately, I had to face the reality that there is no amount of doing that would change the course of her life, so many times over those two years, I received nudges and wax telling me I was not powerful enough to influence the course of my mother’s life, but it wasn’t until I received the Boulder, the truth, that my mother was dying and I had a few months left with her that I finally let go, I let go of trying to see if are un-accepted, I just didn’t have that power once I was able to allow what was happening to happen, I had to face the pain, but I also experienced the magic in one of those conversations towards the end of my mother’s life, she confided that when I was young, she would look at me and know I was in pain, but she had no way to reach it.
0:12:32.4 S2: I was still shut down. And she wasn’t sure how to get in. She told me sometimes she would beg me to tell her what was wrong, but I wouldn’t let her in… I don’t remember that part at all. We can have parents who love us and wanna help us, but still like the resources, mental, emotional, financial to help us learn to safely surrender our needs to them, if I learn to open up and allow… How much earlier on? I’m not sure how I would have handled that moment, my mother first told me she had cancer, I know for a fact she didn’t come here, she didn’t come there looking to be held, she came to hold in one of my regrets that rests in the library of little regrets on our path together is I prevented her from mothering me right then, I know now that’s what he truly wanted to help me while she could, but I was so busy moving in to fix it mode, I missed it all. It’s unlikely that I would have broken down crying, but maybe I would have the needs of the people I love still factor in to everything I do, even now that I understand the process of surrendering and letting go on a much deeper level.
0:13:35.9 S2: So I probably wouldn’t have wanted her to see me cry, but I think I would have at least accessed and honest answer. I’m not sure if I’m okay. I think I just need time to process this, and then I would have let her hold me later on when I was alone, I would have let it roll over me, all the pain and fear, instead I immediately shopped all those sticky emotions back into the box and I sealed a tight fear pain, and where are things for people who don’t believe in what’s possible is what I would have said already having been brainwashed by the spiritual DNA, toxic positivity, I would have believed that the best way to keep my mother alive was to be positive, I don’t know what words I used in talking with my mother, but I know what I communicate it… We’ll figure this out, Mom. And what I meant was, I will make you better. I don’t care how much of my energy I use doing it, I will fix this and I will be your savior, I will put when I need on hold until you are well. Of course, the real problem with that last promise, which many of us unconsciously make, is that it isn’t just a promise, it’s a contract, there is an unspoken expectation, we don’t realize we hold witches, and when you are well, then I will finally be able to let go and you will take care of me.
0:14:54.7 S2: The problem is that waiting for every one of us to be Okay before we allow needs to be needs to a constant cycle of waiting for that time and becoming more and more numb, overwhelmed and lost in our lives. Looking back, I can see clearly the universe was inspiring to teach Milo begging me even like my mom used to when I was a kid, please let us in. So that is just part of Chapter Seven of NEPA from magic. Thank you for listening in. And if you want to get a copy of the book while it’s in pre-order, I would love that we’ll be shipping in a couple of weeks, but when you purchase in the pre-order period, you will get to be a part of a special party happening, our magic makers party, where you’ll get extra bonuses were playing games with treasure hunts in the book, and you’ll get an early read of the book itself, so if you go to Patty Lennon dot com, NASPA for magic, you will access a page, I’ll show you where to order the book, and then come back to that page with your receipt and you will be entered to win all prizes and you’ll certainly be gifted all those bonuses and join our magic makers community.
0:16:13.1 S2: So what I hope you heard in that story and everything I do is done with this hope is that when I’ve struggled through something, that I struggle through it, not just for myself, but that I can share it with you and that you avoid a struggle by being able to learn from mine, right? Is that you don’t go through that place where you hold back what you need because you’re afraid it’s gonna burden someone around you when you’re going through a dark night of the soul, that is one of the biggest challenges, is that… What you need to do to care for yourself to make it easier during that time feels to almost conflict with what’s responsible and what others need from you. I found myself back in that same place two weeks ago, where I knew in my heart of hearts what I needed to do, and yet it felt so irresponsible, and yet it’s exactly what I will have to do if I’m going to navigate this time I’m in. And I hope you hear that as well, because if I could travel back in time to that person I was when my mom first told me she had cancer, I would have let myself be held and that’s what she wanted to…
0:17:29.2 S2: I prevented her so often for mothering me the way she desired to, and you may not have grown up with a mother like mine that wants and shows you she wants to mother you, but I promise you that the divine does, but the divine can only mother us that way can only nurture us and care for us when we let her… And in order to let her, we have to surrender. So I hope that this gives you something to think about, maybe gives you an insight, a breakthrough, and certainly if you have questions or you have thoughts or a has based on this, I would love for you to share them with me. Email me, Patty a pavilion dot com, or even better, grab the book and pre-order period, join our magic makers Facebook group and come tell your stories there because that will make this journey so much more magical, certainly. For me and for the entire community, and I hope, especially for you.
0:18:30.1 S1: Hey, thanks for listening. If you know someone who needs to hear this message, please share this episode with them, and if you’re feeling really generous, I’d love for you to leave us a review at your favorite podcast app, it helps us reach many more people and it fills my heart with so much joy when I hear what you have to say about what I’ve shared. I’m cheering for your success, have an amazing day, and don’t forget. Always create space for magic.