A few months after my mom passed away, I was walking in the cemetery where she was buried. This was something I did almost every day back then.
The initial shock that accompanies early grief was starting to wear off and reality was setting in again. My company was still not making the kind of money I knew I was capable of bringing in. Matt, my husband, had been out of work for over a year at that point, and our debt was growing to scary levels.
Why is this happening to us? We are good people! I did everything right! I left my job to follow my calling. Matt always worked hard. I took care of my mom – I was there for her ALL THE TIME!
And what do we get for it? All this debt! It’s so unfair. You tell me why this is happening! After all I’ve done for others, after I have been good and loyal to everyone I love and built an entire business to HELP PEOPLE – why am I left with a broken heart and this crushing debt?!
What did I do wrong?!!!! I demanded from whatever unseen forces were listening.
By then I was sobbing. Every part of me hurt – my heart from the grief, my mind from trying to find the answer to a problem I couldn’t solve, and my body from all the stress. I felt abandoned on every level… and I was angry!
Just then an energy floated in and around me. It’s an energy I’ve come to understand as angels. Their energy is always softer than most of my Spirit Guides – who tend to be a bit stern with me.
“You haven’t done anything wrong. This is not a punishment. Debt is simply the result of giving more than you have to give. It’s time to take care of yourself.”
That one statement changed everything for me.
I often attribute the creation of The Receiving School and everything I teach now to what I learned after my dad passed away two years ago, but the truth is that it really started that day in the cemetery.
It has been over 7 years since that conversation with my angels and it took me a few years to really integrate the wisdom in their message, but I have learned that it is the absolute truth. When you carry a debt – whether it’s a money debt, time deficit, or a total physical depletion – it’s because you have given more than you have to give. In order to release that debt and find balance, you must learn how to receive.
You may be wondering what you can do to start “receiving.”Here is my suggestion – receive yourself. Receive exactly how you feel.
One of the biggest lies that is taught in the manifestation world is that you have to “stay positive” or you will end up attracting more negative things. I have learned just the opposite is true. When you allow yourself to truly feel what you are feeling (without judgment), you release blocks to the solutions you were looking for and miracles start to appear!
I’m going to be speaking more about this in my 3 Part Series Make Space for Magic which you can access here: https://patty-lennon.mykajabi.com/space-for-magic-3-part-training-series
For now, I want you to know that wherever you are in life, whatever burdens you are carrying – you have nothing to feel ashamed about. You have always done the best you could with what you had and what you knew at the time.
P.S. We have now released all that debt that brought so much shame, and I can tell you we did it with A LOT of help. I don’t think I could have ever asked for or received that help if my angels didn’t tell me what I most needed to understand. Debt isn’t a sign that we’ve done something “bad” – it’s simply a symptom of giving more than we have to give.