Where Law of Attraction Goes Wrong

In my book, Make Space for Magic I talk about the law of attraction and how it can be somewhat toxic.  

There have been horrible events recently and in the Magic Lounge, we’ve had comments and questions about people “attracting” violence or harmful situations.  

Is that really a thing?  

Additionally, the next thought process is: if they attracted their situation, then is okay or acceptable for us to look away?  

There are a lot of beliefs around this which is why in this episode, I’m sharing what I believe and how I’ve come to understand this for myself. My hope is that it clears up some misunderstandings and gives you a new perspective on this often misunderstood concept.  

Using the law of attraction to impact our ability to change our vibration with our thoughts, can only happen when we are not in “fight or flight” mode. People in disadvantaged communities or in an unsafe environment, don’t have the ability to raise their vibration to relieve their circumstances.  

What if these people are in these circumstances so that others (like you and I) have the chance to help them? Fundamentally I do believe that we are here to play a part in the larger community when opportunities are present.  

If we want to use the law of attraction to keep from looking at the pain of others, it’s often from a place of fear. The fear of others’ pain and the fear that we have when we don’t know how to help or feel powerless can keep us in a place removed from love. 

It isn’t our job to “save” others, but it can be our responsibility to be an ally. Where do you feel called to help? You may be the person who can aid someone else to move out of fear so they can see their own potential.  

Did I attract this?  

If you are feeling blame or shame around your circumstances, wondering if you’ve invited this into your life, I invite you to look at it as something to be released. When I embraced my debt (for example) and stopped resisting I was finally able to begin to release it from my life.  

You can get more insights on my personal journey around this in the book, Make Space for Magic.  

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Your role as a helper isn’t to save someone but it is to remove circumstances when your resources allow that gives someone the ability to rise up within their own power. That’s really where that beautiful alignment comes from. Welcome to the space for magic podcast where people who are led by their hearts come to learn the secrets to receiving all the gifts the universe has for us. I’m your host Patty Lennon. I’m an ex-Type a corporate Baker turned intuitive coach using a blend of common sense brain science and just a dash of magic. I’m here to help you create abundance in every area. of your life and business. Welcome!

Hey there welcome to this episode of the space for magic podcast. I’m your host Patty Lennon and today we are going to talk about law of attraction and specifically where law of attraction goes wrong and probably more accurately where law of attraction teachings go wrong. So if you have read my book, make space for magic, you know that I am really specific about how toxic some of the law of attraction teachings that are out there have gone and essentially that they’re horrible at this point. You know, I found this on my own journey and I see this with people that take the receiving school and are in the membership the magic lounge all the time. We have digested a body of work that was meant to help us and somewhere it came off the rails and so I want to talk about that because the recent tragedies that have happened over the last couple of months and the difficult experiences that we’ve been having, especially in the community have seen a lot of conversation in politics and the divisiveness in conversations and the ability of people to just get along really. And the question that keeps coming up over and over and over again is some version of this negative thing is happening to me did I attract it, or if you know there’s a tragedy going on, or something really difficult that went on. Certainly one that involves violence like the shootings that have happened, did those people attract it? And this to me is at the heart of the messaging that we’ve absorbed that is just so it’s really cruel quite honestly and it really takes us off the path of what I believe any spiritual teaching should help us with which is to become more connected. If you have not read my book yet make space for magic, I would recommend you check it out. You can go to pattylennon.com/makespaceformagic. And you will see the link that takes you to all the major retailers and where they’re selling it. Because my guess is if you’re on this path and you’ve absorbed some of the Law of Attraction teaching that I’ve absorbed, you may be in a similar place where you wonder if you’re making your life not optimal because of some of the choices you’re making. What I don’t dive into as much in the book, which is why I want to talk about here is when we see something out there that concerns us. When there’s poverty when there’s a drought, when there’s children who are not able to eat before they go to bed when there’s parents who aren’t able to care for their children the way they’d want to when there is inequity in the world. Does Law of Attraction give us permission to turn our heads and say well, then they attracted it. And I can tell you that my answer. And again, this is just my opinion based on what I’ve absorbed. It is also based on you know how I know we are physiologically built and how our brains work, and also your conversations I’ve had with my own spirit team to get clear about what is true, what isn’t true. So just take that for what it’s worth with all those caveats because again, to me, this is also a conversation about fate and there’s no proof of one thing or another except for the proof that is claimed by some of the Law of Attraction teachers that really quite honestly comes from a very white privileged position. So if this is a question that you’ve considered, which is you know, when something when there’s systems of inequity, do we get to look away because law of attraction gives us that permission and I really do believe a lot of the Law of Attraction teachers out there do convey some level that that’s the case and that’s deeply concerning. Because when I came onto the spiritual path, you know, if you’re new to me, I was a type a. For years. I was also white conservative Republican, and Catholic. And so you know, I didn’t even I didn’t even really explore these ideas until my late 20s and really start to open up to my own gifts where I could have conversations with my own spirit team in my mid-30s

And so I came onto this path somewhat late. And at first it really excited me and excited me to think how much power and control I had in my life to make a difference using the law of attraction and the law of attraction. States that, you know, we attract what we vibrate, essentially, when you look into another person, and you see them suffering, or you see them in a system of inequity, and you decide, oh, well, they attracted that if they wanted something different, they could attract something better. And that’s really, you know, that’s their power that’s within them. So I don’t need to concern myself with it. That’s really, really fundamentally flawed. And here’s why. The Law of Attraction does state that we attract what we vibrate. However, we’ve also come to this planet, I believe, with a desire to be in community inter relational beings in the relationship to others. And if that’s the case, would this law that exists in the world, freely free us from having to concern ourselves with any other person’s difficulties, and I just don’t think it does, for a lot of reasons. So I’m just going to start with the most direct to the law of attraction teachings what I would say so if you were a law of attraction, absolutist you believe no, this is the case. This is the case here, where I wouldn’t speak into that. The Law of Attraction and our ability to sort of increase our vibration with our thoughts and the choices we make is only possible when we are out of a fight or flight mode in our brain. So when you think about having thoughts that raise your vibration, if you were trapped in a level of fear, or doubt or worry, it is just ridiculously hard to get your brain into that other space. And if you’ve ever been in that space, where you just feel like the walls are closing in on you or. For me, it’s with my kids as soon as I see them in a compromised position, you know my fight or flight kicks in, it takes a lot of work to get myself out of that space. And I come to the table with a lot of resources. You know, financially we’re secure. I am a white cis woman. So I have a lot of the privileges that exist in our society. But my kids are healthy. I have a partner that is a true partner and he’s in it with me and shares responsibility. So even with all of that, if I see my kids potentially about to suffer, it freaks me out right. So now take all of those advantages off the table and you will go you know, add another group of people or a person if they cannot get out of fight or flight, it is virtually impossible for them to essentially use law of attraction in an absolute way. Which I don’t even agree with anyway. And I’ll get to that in a second. It has to do with what our souls choose versus what our minds choose. Right? So here’s where I think isn’t it our responsibility then to help each other get out of that fight or flight that survival mode? Because Don’t we all want us all to evolve? If we’re living in a society where others are suffering, if we have the ability to help relieve that suffering, and how could that not be part of a system of spiritual laws that benefit us when someone experiences something really difficult? Pointing the finger and saying oh, you know, well, they must have attracted that, it discounts the power we have to help them. And then I’ll shift to maybe they did incarnate in that difficult situation or creating a difficult situation for a reason. We don’t necessarily understand and what if the reason that they’re willing to endure that situation is to create an opportunity for us to rise up within our own power within our own privilege, and become helpers and all learn how when we help each other rise, we all rise and we all benefit from that. So that’s we’re speaking to just that if you really are you know, an absolutist and you’re like No The Law of Attraction is that we attract what we everything we have and we have to hold power that then it’s time to examine where responsibility is in helping everyone else and maybe not the whole world but people that you can help get out of survival mode so that they can also then use the law to its fullest potential because the reality is, the law exists. And when you understand how it works, you really can’t do thought work and you really can’t take action. So you know I talked about this in the book, the actions I took to get out of, you know, over six figures in debt and create the marriage and the family that I have. Yes. And I also did it with putting a lot of privilege to the table. And so then, when I can use that privilege to help others get out of a fight or flight or survival mode. I feel fulfilled, I can feel my vibration rising which tells me even when you’re committed to a singular focus of law of attraction and vibration orientation, finding a way to help others raises up your vibration and also raises up the vibration of the planet which just makes it easier to have good stuff happen right? Now, let me just now switch gears a little bit and say why I think the way Law of Attraction is taught is often toxic. And this is where I do get what I do go into in the book make space for magic is that it’s often taught that you know if I visualize something if I make a vision board which by the way, I get the most amount of hate when I when I criticize vision boards, so let me just say I’m not criticizing vision boards that they work for you they work for you. They just don’t work for everyone. But even if you’ve got a vision board and the visualizations and they’re acting as if and it’s not coming into your life, there could be some receiving blocks that you have in place. That’s what I talked about in the book. That’s what I’m talking about here, right? However, there’s another answer also which is that although you may be reaching for this, if possible, it’s your ego that’s reaching for it and not your soul. And where I don’t think this particular piece of law of attraction is discussed very much and a lot of the teaching because it tends to be a more materialistic, self involved ego oriented body of work when it’s taught and not the law itself with the way it’s taught. If something is not for your soul’s highest good, it will not be delivered, it just won’t. Or if it’s delivered, it will be removed very quickly. You’ll see this with examples of people having lottery winnings, and then it’s removed from their life and Law of Attraction teachers have taught well, they weren’t vibrating high enough to keep it I don’t actually think that’s what’s going on. I think they chose as a soul to have a certain experience with money and that experience is helping them in whatever way they have chosen to be helped with that experience and that is none of my business.

None of my business. Nor do I I understand the mystery involved in their souls parents. I’ve seen this. Also when people have brought this to sessions. That we have done, private sessions, and they ask their spirit team through me. Why something hasn’t been fulfilled in the timeline that they’ve expected it to be fulfilled. And inevitably the answer is, there’s something else they need to do. First, there’s a choice they need to make. There is a level of letting go and surrender that needs to happen before this thing that they’re looking to manifest can show up. I will tell you looking back on my own experiences with money – both being a banker and then having had all of that debt develop, I can see now a storyline that makes total sense to me. A storyline where I can teach about money in a way that many people can’t, because I’ve had such different experiences with both as a baker, having the ability to move money, right? And just seeing how easily money shifts and how it disappears and how it’s created to having real life tangible experience of that. Then also to know I was doing most things right and I wasn’t doing everything right when my debt created but I was doing a lot of stuff the right way. And yet we still ended up in all this debt. And now that gives me a lot of compassion for people. In Debt and a lot of compassion where people feel powerless around money to teach into that, in a way I could not have done without that experience. At the time though, when I had the debt and I was in so much fear and I was in so much overwhelm I kept asking why, why, why why. And really, what I needed was to let go of the blame to let go of the shame, which I eventually did. And partly I did it because I was able to have very open conversations with my angels but not everyone gets has that gift right? Not everyone has access to that gift at this moment. I also had friends that helped me feel like I could share my story with them. And they held that space for me. I had family members that once we asked for help helped us and all of those things happened With the help of other beings. In some cases, that was the angels. In some cases, it was other humans, but I could not I don’t think have released my amygdala from the hold of the fear without the help of those other humans. And so it’s not that I think we need to go out and overwhelm ourselves by helping every single person we see. I think we need to clue in and really feel where are we being called into service and where might we need to help because what I find also is when that law of attraction is sort of thrown in the mix as the reason why we don’t have to pay attention to someone else’s pain. I think it’s done from the place of really being afraid of other people’s pain. And what law of attraction can help you do is actually to be present with other people’s to be present with other people’s suffering and have compassion for them and be helpful without getting sucked down. And that’s where it’s been the greatest aid for me because although I was Type a and although I was this white, conservative, Republican, Catholic, in my heart of hearts, that context also made me really want to quote unquote, save people. And that saving mentality is very different than helping and aiding and supporting and where I think law of attraction really can help us when we’re in that saving mentality. Is to free us from it, to understand that pulling someone up from where they are isn’t our job. But giving them the freedom to rise up with the help of law of attraction can be our responsibility as good humans, right? And so instead of looking at crises around the world suffering around the world, really put your hand over your heart. And you can do it right now assuming you’re not driving or needing your hands but just put your hands over your heart and really even if you can’t use your hands right now, it’s just focused on your heart center and breathe into it. Really just call that oxygen down to the center of your heart. Breathing out.

Breathing back in calling that energy to the center of your heart and ask your heart. Where do you feel called to help and now as you identify where that is, stepping into that relationship, without feeling like you’re the only help that’s available, and knowing that the law of attraction can aid in this experience of if you can help someone by inspiring them for what’s possible for them and also helping with the conditions that are making them feel so fearful. All of the sudden you have this beautiful equation that really allows us to help each other and rise up without getting enmeshed with other people and enmesh means that you become their problem. You get into the problem with them, which isn’t helpful, right? Because that just sucks your vibration down, takes you out of a position of being a helper. I think in general we as people are being polarized more and more and I can see the law of attraction, in its most toxic sense, giving us permission to look away from pain. And I don’t think that’s really where we’re being called to as humanity right now. You know, technology and social media really puts a lot of problems in front of us on a regular basis. And I don’t believe that it’s in your best interest to keep paying attention to that because all of that social media, all that media primarily has the agenda of generating a amygdala response from you, right? If it bleeds, it leads that’s that’s a common saying in media and where social media is concerned, people are posting, they just want you to believe what they believe. So that’s not where I think. I don’t think being responsible. human means paying attention to media. I think there’s enough information out there without paying attention to media to help you understand where you can uniquely help and when you now take into context that your role as a helper isn’t to save someone but it is to remove circumstances when your resources allow. That gives someone the ability to rise up within their own power. That’s really where that beautiful alignment comes from. Now, I say this also, knowing that even as I talk about this, I’m talking about it from a place where I have never really had the experiences that most people suffer from the inequities of the United States for sure, but the world in general, and so maybe some of the stuff I’m saying isn’t even accurate. Maybe some of it is privileged. I know that that’s a possibility. And if you’re hearing something that I’m saying and you feel that please know that I am open to that discussion, and you’re welcome to share that with me. But what I am sharing today really comes from a lot of introspection on my part, a lot of getting it wrong for a very long time and figuring out my way back to a place that feels right it feels accurate and feels aligned. And, you know, before we wrap up, I just want to touch on the question of, did I attract this so if you’re turning the law of attraction on yourself, and you’re feeling like a circumstance in your life you’ve been brought on and you’re feeling some blame or shame about it? And maybe wondering, oh, my gosh, what thought do I have to think what do I have to think to get out of this? I really want to encourage you to turn that compassion on yourself. And to understand that, perhaps that circumstances there, that you didn’t invite in by doing something wrong, but rather it’s there to be released, and it’s actually the process of releasing it. That is part of your soul’s journey. Again, I’m referencing my debt. I spent so much time blaming myself for attracting it and not thinking positive thoughts enough. Right. And it was actually shifting out of that positive thought mindset that freed me it was when I really finally embraced and accepted that the debt really was real. I mean, it’s real as any money is, and I accepted that it was part of my life and I didn’t keep shoving it. away and shoving it away and shoving it away. That was what opened the door for me to release it. So when we stay in this resistive state, where we’re trying to think positive thoughts about something that is really hard. It is extremely difficult to release it. In fact, I would say it’s almost impossible. And whether that is a health diagnosis or a financial issue or some other circumstance, I can’t even wrap my head around. I can tell you that questioning whether you’ve attracted it when the thing you’re talking about is causing you pain and suffering is not helpful. It’s not helpful. And what you most need in that moment, from a basic human level is compassion. And you probably need some support and community and other humans so you don’t feel so alone in it. And from a brain science standpoint, I can tell you as long as you stay in relationship to that fear and that shame and that guilt, your amygdala stays in control. And while your amygdala is control, all the blood flow is going there, the part of your brain that actually can think those higher thoughts that make you feel better that raise your vibration, actually, that you stay in a complete locked situation with your amygdala that keeps you from having those higher vibing thoughts.

So wherever you are on the spectrum right now with law of attraction, if you’re you know, if you’ve been wondering, is law of attraction even okay, because that’s a question that comes up in the magic lounge in my membership, you know, often is, Do I really have a problem with law of attraction because it’s, you know, it tells people that they don’t have to worry about other people and I don’t like that. So if you’ve been wondering about that, I hope that this podcast episode has helped you. If you personally have been trying to avoid looking at other people’s pain and suffering and tell yourself, you don’t have to because of law of attraction, then I hope that this maybe opened your mind up to a different way of looking at it where you can still use the understanding of law of attraction and when it’s married with compassion, some concrete solutions, or maybe there wasn’t one. And if you yourself are struggling with something and when using the Law of Attraction against you. I really hope that this helped you understand maybe a different way to look at it because I can tell you, I have walked this journey of law of attraction and learning it. I’ve stumbled a lot. And what I’ve shared today is the place I’ve gotten to that gives me a sense of peace. It gives me the freedom to be a helper and also frees me from you know, a lot of shame and guilt that I probably would still be holding if I didn’t shift my perspective on it. And if shame and guilt and fear is present, whatever you’re using to generate it is not helpful and it’s not a spiritual and it’s not a law of the universe because it just can’t be our universe. Universal Laws are based on love. And so if, if the law doesn’t take us to love, we are not understanding the law properly. So I know I was a little preachy today. It’s feeling strongly about this conversation has been happening a lot in my community and I felt it was important to share it here. And if you want to hear more about you know how to shift that perspective on law of attraction how to maybe work with difficult events in your life differently, that definitely get my book make space for magic, go to pattylennon.com/makespaceformagic and I know that it’ll help you shift that perspective because that’s what we’re hearing from so many readers and I’m so happy that the many struggles I have had can serve you in a beautiful and helpful way. I send you my love. Remember, make space for magic. Thanks for listening. If you know someone who needs to hear this message, please share this episode with them. And if you’re feeling really generous, I’d love for you to leave us review at your favorite podcast app. It helps us reach many more people and it fills my heart so much joy. When I hear what you have to say about what I’m sharing. I’m cheering for your success. Have an amazing day. And don’t forget, always create space for magic.