Patty is talking to a client and friend Jen Liddy. She’s had an amazing journey. Hear how she went from teaching high school to being a coach and business owner. As part of her transformation, she stopped focusing on being perfect and instead embraced being happy.
Hear how Jen describes the impact of doing the work Patty teaches. She outlines how helpful it was to accept her rejected self. She credits Patty for showing her how to do this work, and for the vocabulary around the concept.
Jen explains how she helps her clients with the courage to be visible and share their stories. Doing her inner work is why she can share so much of her work and her story today.
“If we could all be a little more gentle with ourselves we could stop all the nonsense in our brain.” Jen Liddy
Hear Jen explain a recent revelation about needing things. Patty had a similar realization around the same time, and they discussed the energy around needing things, asking for help and wanting more from life.
Where does the old, rejected part of yourself show up?
Jen and Patty discuss how this shows up in real time on the podcast! You’ll love how they both realize the way their rejected selves show up and how they can immediately recognize it, acknowledge it and then laugh about it.
Jen shares how you can open yourself up asking for what you want. This is so powerful. She explains that it’s okay to change your mind and to be open to what you need. Patty breaks down the “further along” wound. She explains that it will show up no matter where you are on your journey.
What you can do today: admit what you want and be kind to yourself. Pick a way to get your brain into a quiet state like journaling or tapping or self-affirmations.
About Jen:
Jen left her high school teaching career to avoid a life doomed by grading crappy 9th grade Romeo & Juliet essays. In 2013, she made a terrifying leap into entrepreneurship & learned everything the hard way!
Today, as a Content Creation Specialist, Jen helps personal brands step off the content creation DREADmill & get out of content chaos with strategies that ease-ify , simplify, and actually make content feel GOOD for you!
Resources:
Customized Content Planner
Receiving School Wait List
Space for Magic Cards
Jen on Instagram
Listen to more Receiving Stories
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0:00
Hey there, Patty here, we are going to be sharing today, an episode that did run previously on the podcast. And in fact, the guest Jen Liddy. And I joked when we did the podcast interview, that we should have done it closer to the time where the receiving school would be opening its doors in its newest form, because Jen did such a good job describing some of the benefits of that program, as well as her experiencing learning to open up to receiving in new and special ways. So if you listened to it back then and thought it was a funny interview, we got lots of feedback that people loved listening to us, well get ready because here it is. Again, if you are hearing this for the first time, we are re running it because beginning that later next month, we will open the doors to the receiving school. And before we do that, we’re actually going to have a number of activities and events that you can participate in absolutely free and I want you getting excited. So with that, let’s jump in.
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Welcome to the speaker magic podcast for people who are led by their hearts come to learn the secrets to receiving all the gifts the universe has for us. I’m your host Patty Lennon. I’m an ex type a corporate banker turned intuitive coach, using a blend of common sense brain science and just a dash of magic. I’m here to help you create abundance in every area of your life, and business. Welcome.
1:42
Hey, everyone, welcome to this episode of the space for magic Podcast. Today I have my very good friend, colleague, former client Jen Liddy here as my guest. And Jen is I can tell you what she does professionally. But that’s not really the reason I asked her to be on the podcast, Jen is a very strong example of what it looks like to be the type of person that I think you and I all are at, or we’re at one point I certainly was, which is, you know, tightly wound perfectionist, very control oriented to have like developed a life success from that space. Leave something where that was really approved of and then build something else in your life and really start to unwind those old perfectionist tendencies. So that was the reason I invited Jen on the podcast to talk about her journey, because I’ve had the privilege of watching her for many years and being in her life to see it. But I will tell you, Jen was a high school teacher and she left it in her words to escape, you know, the drama and dread of having to face in a lifetime of grading terrible, as she says ninth grade Romeo and Juliet essays. So Jen, welcome. Thanks. And I think about those essays, I just die a little bit. And the funny thing is, in my mind, like, what you do is you help people create amazing content that feels like it comes from their souls. Right? Is that fair? Yeah, that’s what I attempt to do. And it’s funny, I am able to use all my old you know, tricks and tools and education and experiences in my current business, but I don’t have to read any crappy essays anymore. Because like, to me when I think about some of the copy that people that we know that I don’t know, if they necessarily work with you just I know who’s in our world. That would feel like reading really bad Romeo and Juliet essays to me. So, you know, you know, the funny thing is Patti, I think the difference is the people who like submit their work to me for feedback in my membership, and they want to be there and the response from me, and the feedback matters to them. And that is the key. That is the hugest difference of what I used to do from what I’m doing now. Okay, fair enough. Fair enough. And I know, you know, we’ve, we’ve both commented on this to each other, like, Oh, you’re so patient, you’re so patient with your people.
4:29
But I think then that comes back to because I could talk to someone who’s having trouble, you know, with receiving or you know, is in resistance and just cannot see the way they keep like generating that. Yeah, I can hang in there with them for as long as it takes because I just feel that strongly and passionately about that piece of, you know, work. I totally get that. Yeah. And I would imagine for you, that’s the same you just want people to really feel
4:59
Like, their voice is a unique and specific voice and it deserves to be heard. And and they can do it in their way without it being painful. And you feel passionate about that. Exactly. That’s you nailed it dead on. So, like I said, you and I have been friends we’ve been we’ve worked together, you know, you’ve shared very intimate details of like your journey just places where you’ve been vulnerable. So I know like, what the inside has looked like. But do you think the way I introduced you is fair like our Do you think you used to be tightly wound? Or is that just my like? Well, no, I think it’s not only fair, I think it’s something I still work on a lot. I think I haven’t really quite figured it out all the way how to completely unwind. And it’s certainly an ongoing journey of the unwinding and the undoing, but it’s 1,000% accurate. And so one of the places that I think was so interesting, because you were really, you know, you were one of the people that kind of had to listen to me talk about this work a lot like early on, when I first sort of like, really dug in and understood rejected self work and receiving and turn my focus there. Tell me what your perception of your own rejected self work was, or, you know how that affected you, when we start talking about those concepts. I’ll start with saying, having the language around, it was the very most important step for me, because I didn’t even know I had been doing that, right. I didn’t even know that was a thing. And then to do the really scary work of sitting quietly and thinking about this and letting yourself go into meditation to find the project itself, then to see it, then to name it, then to, you know, welcome it in all of those pieces were really hard because as a perfectionist, and as a type A person who is always like the, you know, the rule in my brain is, okay, what did you do today? And how are you going to do it better tomorrow? That was my life. I mean, it kind of still is, but I have to temper it. But the awards that you get the exceeding expectations and the gold stars that you get are because you just keep moving forward. So I will not say that doing the rejected self work was something that I certainly wasn’t like, excited to do it. I also wouldn’t say I was scared to do it. Because I you know, I knew that I had you as my guide, I knew that you I trusted you, I knew that it wasn’t going to be harmful. But it was it was scary to see what I had rejected in myself. And then it’s just been once you see that part of yourself, and I’m I’m not lying when I’m saying, I’ve been doing this work with you, Patty since I mean, you were my business coach. And then when you kind of pivoted in 2019 ish, right, like you really stepped into this stuff. I mean, I’ve been with you the whole time. So this is not easy work. This is not fast work. But it is certainly oh my god, very worthwhile work, because I just understand myself so much better. So that’s kind of where I started with the rejected self. I love that. And then I realized for for you listening, if you’re new here, and you’re like what are they even talking about one of the foundations of making space for magic, space for magic is essentially allowing in all the gifts the universe is sending you, right? The Divine sending you and the only reason those don’t come in, is because you’re in resistance. And one of the biggest ways that you and any of us keep that wall of resistance up is resisting ourselves, or rejecting ourselves. That’s so that’s what we’re talking about. And this dates back to a psychological theory from 1906 1907. The rejected self theory, the idea that from when we’re very little, we’re taught that parts of us are acceptable to the world and other parts aren’t. And those parts we start to lock away. So if you’re listening, that probably sounds a little bit like maybe some therapeutic approaches. You’ve heard of it, just the way we approach it is to say, you know, what are the inclinations the inspirations, the ideas that are popping up for you, that you shove away? How can we bring those back in and that’s the deeper work we do on receiving school. But for you, Jen, I’m curious now because he like you said it’s been a few years you’ve been doing this work for yourself. I would imagine when people are working with you and struggling to like share their truth with the world but their truth I mean copy we’re talking
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came about for Jen she helps people write better copy that really tells their story. Do you see this like self rejection kind of being a part of, I think that some people are afraid to. They think that writing content and writing copy and marketing themselves, they feel like once they open that door, then they’ve just, like unleashed the floodgates, and they will never have privacy. Again, they feel like they have to expose all of the elements of themselves that maybe they haven’t even explored, but they’re really resistant to letting people in. So there’s a confusion around what it means to create content and what it means to share yourself online. And then of course, there’s all of this work that I am not an expert in this work of the helping people heal. I mean, I can help people find courage and I can cheerlead, and I can, you know, help you with systems like I can help you with all of the ways to get there. But the healing that sometimes they have to do, because they don’t have the courage to show up or say the thing that their audience needs to hear, or, you know, they’re afraid that people are going to judge them. That goes back to that element of a part of the rejected self, which is probably for me, it was, and I’ve struggled with all of these things, too. It’s ironic, I’m a content creation specialist. And I also struggle to show up and if you looked at my email list, or my feed, or my podcasts, like, you would be like, sure you are, Jen, you’re full of bullshit, because you show up all the time. Sure, you’re afraid. And I’m like, I only can do this work, because I have done the unpacking of all of the rejected parts of myself that would keep me from showing up and being out there. If I didn’t know like, Oh, I really felt unworthy as a child. Oh, I felt unloved. Oh, I felt like, unless I was following the rules, I wasn’t good enough. And unless I was working hard, I wasn’t contributing to the family. Like those were all the parts of my rejected self I had to address in order to be able to show up the way I do with my content and my business. Does that make sense? Patti? Absolutely. Absolutely. And I shared a story last week on the podcast, and I’m going to share it with you now because you won’t have heard this podcast episode yet, if you listen to it at all, but the reason I’m going to share is because I am curious if you’ve had similar stories that you can share with our audience of this happening. So I was at a conference. And I was speaking at the conference. And I kept waffling with the videographer on whether I wanted to be videoed or not. And it got to the point where I had gone back and forth. It not like 17 times it was probably like three times. But I was embarrassed at that point. Because I’m sure he’s like juggling all these different speakers. And it’s like, make up your mind lady, right. So when I saw him, I want him to have a real understanding of why I waffled so that he knew I respected him and it wasn’t sort of this, like, oh, kind of like, I’m just going based on how I feel today. And tomorrow, I’m gonna send you a different email, because I’ve decided I feel differently, you know? And I said, Look, I just want to tell you the truth, I’ve gained weight. And I’m just not, I don’t know what I look like on videotape anymore. And I wasn’t sure I even wanted to know. And
13:40
it would have been so easy to keep that inside. I mean, there’s really he wasn’t requiring that information. And he received it in just a lovely way. But I just, there was something about when I got there that I was like, You know what, I’m just going to tell people the truth no matter what the truth is like, I’m just going to tell them the truth because it feels really hard to manage perceptions right now.
14:08
As soon as I said it, it was like, I felt so incredibly free on the stage. And it was only one person that I told this to but it felt different. Once it was something I was like trying to hide, huh, yeah. And I’m curious if since you start doing that work, if you have any examples of where, who you are, like you’ve been able to not hide something and it’s freed you up or you’ve revealed something and just freed you up. Yeah, it’s something I get. How can I say this? I get props for this from people all the time, but I want people to understand. I don’t do it for the props. What I’m talking about is if I’m struggling with something, I don’t like process it with my audience. That’s not fair to my audience. I don’t need them to hold
14:59
space for me, but I am very clear and overt and transparent about the realities of what it really is like to run a business online, the kind of business I run in 2022. So I’m not going to blow smoke up your butt, I’m not, I make choices about, you know, being clear about an income claim versus the energy that it took to do that, or a launch that I did versus what the numbers really were, or that like to go back to the picture thing. I friggin hate video, like, I don’t want to do video, I don’t want to make video. And so I did a whole series about an experiment that I did doing reels in tiktoks, and how it affected my business and how it affected my numbers in my audience, and like just being open about it. And so people are always like, God, you just tell the truth all the time, you just are so authentic. And I’m like, Yes, and I’m not doing it. Because I want you to think I’m so great. I, if I’m thinking it, I know other people are thinking, I’m experiencing it, I know other people are experiencing it. And I feel like if we could all be a little more gentle with ourselves that you know, the nonsense that’s going on in our brain, like you and I were talking at the beginning of this call, like the imposter syndrome, the jealousy, these are all not my favorite parts of myself. But when I can state them and be heard and seen. It’s very powerful for me. And I have learned that it’s very powerful for other people, because we think we’re the only ones struggling with it, or we’re looking at, you know, somebody else’s, you know, chapter 72 In their book, and you’re on chapter two and a half and you think, oh, it’s, it’s going to be so much better when I get there. And I I just I think that looking at these parts of myself that I don’t love, it’s the only way I can feel good showing up online. And the way I show up, I just feel like anything else would be complete bullshit. And just inauthentic I just like, I don’t think I could live with myself if if I didn’t bring my rejected self work through her shit, and then kind of do something with it for my audience. Hmm. I love that. And you know, it’s
17:13
occurring. To me, it’s something I’ve just been mentally noodling. I don’t think I’ve put a lot out here on the podcast about or in any other content, which is you, especially for the country that you and I live in, which is the United States, we have become a society that is so incredibly polarized
17:34
against issues against politics, really, you could pick anything, and I think for the the sort of the, the way, people’s nerves are just ready to pop. You know, on any given day, you could see a group of people bring up anything people have an opinion on, and they will instantly polarize, you know, like it to the extreme. And we’re having so many difficulties in this country because of that polarization because people can’t talk to each other. And what’s been going through my head is just like, what’s the answer for us, because it’s not that one side suddenly agrees with the other side, which is what most people want.
18:23
We have to find a way to like, remove the thing that’s causing people to move to their sides of the room, you know.
18:34
And to me, that thing that’s sort of been in my mind is I think it has to do with us being a little more honest with each other. Yeah. And I think one of the reasons I was excited to talk on this podcast is even having done this work, the receiving school, I mean, I do the receiving school regularly, I open it up, and I go through it weekly, and I do the exercises, and I do it on my own. I’m always learning something new. And I actually said to my therapist, to be so it was like, I’m 52 years old when am I gonna be done figuring things out and revealing new things. And recently, one of the things I revealed to myself and I haven’t talked about it in my content anywhere just because it hasn’t fit quite anywhere yet. But like, I realized, like, Ah, yes, I’m a perfectionist. Yes, I’m a type A person. Yes, I’m, like, figured all that but a huge aha, for me was, Oh, I think it’s shameful to have needs like other people can have needs and I can meet other people’s needs and it’s okay, and I want you to have needs, but like for me to have needs that it’s not okay. And that was just like recently within the past like eight weeks surface, and of course, all this other stuff tumbled out around that and you and I were talking about it. And I’m like God, that is, I think something that I hear about but I haven’t really you know, you hear about being worthy
19:59
You’re you hear about, you know, it’s okay to take time for yourself. But like I hadn’t really admitted to myself that I don’t feel safe when I have a need. And it’s almost embarrassing and humiliating to have a need. So all of my needs get shoved aside, because I don’t want to admit that I have them. And so, again, I think this is something that probably other people can relate to, and people think, but I kind of had to go through it myself, and admitted,
20:26
first of all, I love that you’re admitting it. And I’m remembering now that that was actually you. And I, because we work with the same person.
20:34
Not that that person shares our details with each other.
20:38
You and I were talking and the same week, we had the same thought revealed, which was, it is not safe to have needs, which, for me, that’s not embarrassing or shameful at this point, it’s more or inspiring that that belief still exists with all the work I’ve done with myself.
21:05
And yet, it was like, No, of course, you get, you know, it’s a spiral healing is a spiral. It’s not a straight line. So you know, now I’m touching it at a deeper level. And I do know that, but I think it’s important. And I’m so glad you brought it up, because I think that was also one of the main reasons I said, Come on the podcast, right? Yeah, yes, that if you and I are independent of each other, and we’re friends, but there’s times where we’re talking a lot. But that hasn’t been recently, like you. And I really haven’t been up until that conversation. We haven’t been talking frequently. So it’s not like we were influencing what we were thinking about. It was amazing, right? And so that tells me there’s an energy of that. And what’s fascinating about that is, and I think you’ve seen it, because you were in you were were you doing the manifest your dreams? Five day process? The Oh, yeah. Yeah. So you saw like the comments that people had while they were doing it. And they were, they were really shocked that from day one to day two, how much shifted internally for them, that they had, you know, people were saying, I have to really admit that I was scared to do this. I was scared to create a dream for myself. And I don’t even know how that happened. Well, when I think about it, it’s scary to create a dream for yourself. Because if you can’t have needs, you can’t ask anybody for help. You’re supposed to figure out how to do it on your own. It’s like you put the backpack on and start hiking up the hill, you forget that you can ask the universe and the divine for help like all of those things go by the wayside when it’s scary to admit you have needs like, Oh, right. So I have a need for this vision, right? Like I want I want I have a want. And it’s scary to put it out there. Because what if I can’t like, I feel like if I have needs, and I asked somebody else to fulfill them, then I’m counting on that other person. And so this, like, hyper active independence shows up as like, I’m trying to do it myself. And then I forget, like, oh, maybe the universe has a plan, or maybe like something will come in that I wasn’t expecting, or maybe it’s not through me at all. And I just, I feel like I just it’s the hold, not wanting to admit that I have needs means that I hold on very tightly, and I become extremely independent. And I go and I go and I go and I go and it just doesn’t always work out. For me. It’s it’s exhausting. So it was, um, oh, God, it was very freeing. It was like I had to, I would like I texted you right away, because I’m like, hey, this, this is what I know what it was Patti? I was doing receiving school again for myself. And I said, this time, instead of asking for a big bag of money, or like whatever a specific ridiculous thing I used to ask for I just asked for validation and recognition. And that was when all of this started unraveling. So I asked for something different than I had ever asked before. And it was so hard to say I need validation because it feels like shit, Jen, come on, really, really. And it was that claiming of something that I wanted and needed that was totally different that that started all of this other avalanche. And honestly, ever since I had that moment. I think I texted you like on Friday. And then I texted you on Monday and I was like this is what’s shown up in the three days since I started doing receiving school. Again, with this particular thing. It was like it was like a snowball. And I just had to let it in and not be embarrassed that I had asked for it in the first place. So it was like, oh, when you’re embarrassed to ask for something. It just blocks you from getting it. And just to clarify, just people understand it
24:59
was a snowball of good stuff. Oh yeah, it was good. It wasn’t like, Oh my God, all this terrible stuff is coming in. But I’m sorry if I meant no, no like all of this recognition and validation that I, first of all that I had either never seen before and was right smacking me in the face, or that I had never expected before. Like it all came tumbling in. And I just had to kind of sit in amazement and watch it come in. By the way, I have to do like a meta moment, right, where we’re like having this interview about rejected self work, and then, but I’m having a rejected self moment while we’re doing it. So for those of you listening, this is not a commercial for the receiving school. And
25:48
it sounds like it is and if I was in so this is my, this is my like moment where like, Oh, if I was a more discipline podcaster I would have crafted to have you come on while we’re launching receiving school, or if there’s any chance that someone could join, right, and we won’t be opening receiving school again, for you listening until January 2023. So I am sorry, but you can definitely get on the waitlist, you could just go to the receiving school.com add your name to the waitlist, you’ll be one of the first to find out. But you know, as you’re talking, I’m like, oh my god, this is such good stuff. Like if the receiving school was opening next week, Jan, you’d be like, you’d be helping me like sell it right now. Right? But no, I don’t have my shit together. When it comes to the content of this podcast, I just go where the wind blows me, you know, inspiration fine.
26:45
Well, let’s let’s you have to know what I was thinking at the very same time while I’m talking about this. I’m like, I’m literally Well, in telling this for me like she’s not opening receiving school, she should really hold on to this until receiving school is open and not released.
26:59
Later, because I’m such a control person, right? Like, my my systems are in order. And I have my content in place that I’m strategically planned it all out. And that is the part of myself I’m trying to, like ease the freak up on.
27:13
Yeah.
27:14
And there’s something to be said to say like, leave them wanting like I’ve heard, but like, you know, if you hear about receiving school today in June, and then it’s not opening till January LEDs is not Yeah. words at all, I’d have to build some really robust nurture sequences to, to bridge that gap. But he knew it was kind of going through. And the thing for you listening, by the way, Jen’s heard me preaches. But I again, you can add your two cents here. I think, to speak to the work, you know, what the works done is I was able to feel the resistance of oh, I’m not as good as a more disciplined content manager. I saw the thought I saw where it was I allowed it in, right. So that’s the key is just allow it in, you don’t have to be different. You just have to acknowledge this, like fear that you have or whatever it is. And then like I was over it, you know, like I’m already over it. So it’s it’s a blip on my energy radar. And I’m curious how that is for you. Because we are talking about how like our neuroses still exists, but
28:29
maybe not as good as selling point for the receiving school. But go ahead. Well, so this is really interesting, because in the blip of my thing, it was like, Oh, she shouldn’t put this out until later. And so I should let her know at the end that this would be so much better if she put it out later. Like, again, not like putting nothing I have a need for your podcast to go out. But you know, it’s like, oh tamping down myself, I don’t want to make it about me. I don’t want to be like, it should really be about Patti. It’s her podcast. And that’s like that old story that I have where like, it’s not okay to have your own needs. It’s not. And the other thing is, it’s not in my control. Like, your business is not my business. I can’t tell you what to do. Like, I had no idea where this conversation was gonna go today. Like, it’s not mine to frickin control. It’s okay, if it’s just out there in the world. Yeah, and also because once I we had that conversation, and you are in the process of doing more good. That is one of your goal to be on more podcasts this year. So for your willingness to be like, Okay, well, my goals don’t matter because they serve Patti’s goals.
29:38
Or my goals are secondary to Patty’s goals, you know, that whole thing. And, you know, I think we’re both guilty of that. We’ve been guilty of that in the past because we’re built similarly, yeah, and I think that anybody who’s listening can certainly see themselves in this conversation like, where do you have that like, old rejected part of yourself where like, no, no, it doesn’t matter. It’s fine. It’s fine.
30:00
I that’s fine. And then I’ll, I’ll take care of somebody else, or whatever it is for you. For me, it was validation recognition, and then that revealed that, oh, it’s not safe for you to have needs. Once I started identifying all of those things, like, again, it like today it shows like, Okay, you still have the thoughts. It’s not like they disappear. But it’s fun to laugh about it. And just like, see it go by, rather than, like, get mired down in it and hang up and feel like, oh my god, you were such an idiot to talk about that, Jen, you know?
30:33
Oh, yes, that freedom, the freedom to be an idiot and not berate yourself for it afterwards. Not Not that you were you were not an idiot. You are not an idiot. That’s just for me, myself. And you know, before for you listening, though, you’re probably like, Okay, well, I can’t take receiving school. What can I do? I mean, I can give some ideas. Jen but, what would you tell someone that was listening, who sees themselves in your personality or your story or your approach and you know, wants to take action on that? Well, I can speak to what I’ve learned. And it’s, first of all, it requires an incredible amount of gentleness with yourself to even say what you want, it’s very scary to say what you want. And I know that that is a big tenet of receiving is to know what you want, and then be able to say it, and then be able to like, let it come in. And not bat it away like a compliment. And so I have had to give myself the grace of saying like, Oh, I think I want this. But honestly, sometimes I don’t really even know what I want or what I want feels wrong, or it feels too superficial. And it’s really like it’s not etched in stone, I would wish for anybody listening to play around with what you want. Because it might be very superficial. In your mind, you might judge it, or it might be deep. And you might be thinking like, I don’t know how the hell I’m ever going to get that. I guess I would ask people to hold the reins loosely, but do engage with what you might want or need. Even if you have no idea how it could ever happen, how you could get it, or what it would look like on the other side. And the other thing is to kind of be okay, that it shifts over time. Hmm, I like to say more about that. Well, you know, my big thing was like, as a as a former high school teacher, I got into business, and I wanted to prove to myself that I could make money from for lots of reasons. And so that was a really big motivation for me. And then the first year, I had my first six figure year, I was like, oh, okay, yeah, did that. Okay. And then I had my second six figure year, and I’m like, oh, okay, did that. And then I was like, Wait a second. Am I even happy? Am I doing work? I like doing Am I energized? What is it that I really want? And so, for so long? I thought it was money. But then it was time, and then it was energy. And then the most recent iteration was validation.
33:20
And I think I thought the money would create validation. And it did not. Yeah, that’s, that’s good. And you know, it’s funny, because I don’t even remember what we were talking about, right before we were like, hit record. But I remember saying to you, it won’t matter what level you get to, until you heal this thing. It’s going to keep showing up at every level of success. We were talking about imposter syndrome and comparison itis. Okay. And it was because I just got back from this conference. And, you know, people who have fairly, they’re known, at least they’re internet famous, and they have certain levels of success, that are recognized, and there’s some assumptions about where they are, you know, like, and it’s really from this level of comparison, but talking to those people, and they were talking about how this is the phrase that kept coming up, and I saw it come up in the manifester dreams process. In the first day, there were people who were sharing their, what they came to privately, and they’re like, I’m just so frustrated. I’m not farther along.
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And, you know, I kind of like was very, like, very hard on the community as a whole not to an individual just saying, you have got to let go of this idea of further along. Like, why am I not further along because there’s not going to be some point you catch up to and then you’re alive.
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Like, Oh, I’m way ahead. It’s a wound. I’m not further along is a wound, and you heal it or you don’t. But it does not go away because of a level of success or money, or recognition or anything. Yeah, it’s a worthiness thing. Yeah. And the comparison is very, very easy, because you see it all playing out in public. But I, I know, you’ve talked about this quite a bit. And, and I’ve been feeling it too, like, I think huge shifts are coming. And people are not tolerating the stuff that they used to tolerate, and not, you know, people are savvy, and our audiences are smart. And they are just not tolerating the bullshit that they used to tolerate. And I’d like to start with myself, I’d like to stop tolerating my own bullshit, I’d like to stop tolerating the constant impostor syndrome and the constant comparison, whether it’s with somebody else, we’re striving to get to the next level I, what I really like is just to learn how to be right. And I’ve never been very good at that. Yeah. And I think that this process of the rejected parts of myself, who when she was idle, or just being she was told, she wasn’t valuable to the family, she wasn’t doing enough. She was lazy, you work hard. Those are all very old stories that I’m unwinding at 52 years old.
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And I love that you’re doing it because lots of people go to their grave with those stories still in them, right? Yeah, it’s just too. It’s just so exhausting. I just feel like there has to be like, this isn’t working like this isn’t working anymore. This is just not this isn’t what I want. And after writing out the manifest my dreams, like what I want on my, you know, on day one, that what I want, it was like, it’s just different than this. And it doesn’t necessarily need to be that I need to be a millionaire to get it. That’s the other Aha, like, maybe you can have what you want. And you don’t need to work hard. And it doesn’t require, you know, everything that you think it requires. Hmm, yes. And as you’re talking, what I realized is, it was being at this conference, I realized how okay, I was in my own skin. And that was different. It’s been so long since I’ve been on a live event that there was enough time that I could see there was a significant difference from the last time I was at an event, a big event. And for me, I think a big piece of it is being honest.
37:34
Having the book out in the world, and having it really there in a story of some pretty significant shame Points, points that could be shameful for people. It’s like this giant bag of rocks is off my back. And where I used to think, oh, because my business isn’t seven figures yet. Or, you know, one of my kids is struggling. And I think part of it was like me just not being a good enough mom early on and or which that’s that story actually isn’t happening right now. But it was happening, you know, a year ago. Yeah, different things that used to make me believe, Oh, you’re not enough.
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It was not actually becoming more. That freed me from it. It was telling other people about the things I thought they judge me for that freed me from it. It’s almost like a preemptive strike. Ah, and I think I do that, as you’re talking, I think I do that in my content, you know, the the things that I share, but there has been a card I pull all the freaking time is write from your from your deck, I pull write all the time. And I’m like, I will write I will write whatever you want. But I don’t know what you want me to write. And so I pulled out my pendulum and I was asking it questions. And there’s, there’s a book, and I have no idea what the book is. But, you know, I do wonder if that’s part of the healing process for me of getting to that point where you’re just worthy. Like when people say like, you’re just you’re just a human being so you’re worthy. You’re just alive. So you’ve already like, I really want to get to the point where I know what that feels like. And if a book will help me get there. I’m in I’m happy to write it happy to write a universe just let me
39:34
Oh, something flew through my head when you said that about the card. And write. Ah, goodness. Well, first I just want to affirm for you that yes, you are meant to write a book. And it’s not like a nonfiction book per se. Like it’ll teach but that there’s going to be story in it. So I’ll just put that in there for you personally, Jen.
40:00
Thank you. That was for you and the audience,
40:05
menopause brain,
40:09
or COVID brain? I don’t know if I share that here on the podcast. But I did have COVID A couple of weeks ago. So for the first time in two and a half years, that was fascinating. And then you went to a conference this week to see the lot going on? Yeah, yeah. So I have lots of brains going on? Well, it’s gone. If it pops back in before we conclude our time together, I’ll share it.
40:33
So besides, you know, writing and sharing stories, what are some other ways that you feel like the audience could benefit from knowing like what something they can do, or, you know, it doesn’t have to be an action action, it can be a shift in thinking that will free people up to like, really drop more deeply into themselves and just feel more comfortable being themselves. I think the admitting piece is really important. And you might do it in private, and then I am not a person who loves to journal. But when I journal, good stuff comes out, right? My brain goes faster than my fingers can go. So I find journaling frustrating sometimes. So what I have started doing well, I mean, my my therapist is a tapping therapist. And again, that is incredibly useful. But again, I need to be guided. So I know there are people out there who can tap and use EFT and I love it, but I don’t seem to be able to really be effective with it on my own. So I guess like, I’ve really just explored different modalities of getting my brain into a quieter theta state processing some things, but one of the most cool things I’ve started doing is just talking to myself, using you know, like, like speaking to myself, and like, you know, Jen, this is fine, you can do this, you can, you can ask this person for this thing. It’s, it’s like almost harnessing a version of myself where it’s like a second version of myself, like I’m talking to her I don’t, I don’t say I. Any more like I can do, it’s like, Jen, you have got this, you, you just need to take care of it, and you’re going to be okay. And it’s almost like a little, I want to say it’s like it’s not harsh. It’s just, it gets me where I need to go Speaking frankly, with myself. And then I don’t know how it’s really helping me. But it is make I mean, I don’t know the science of why it’s working. But it’s working. And it’s helping me show up for more daily meditation, which is fast, more daily, tuning in with some aspect of my spiritual life, whether that’s pulling a card or holding a rock or doing a journal, but I have had to, again, hold the reins kind of loosely, because there’s not one thing that works for me. So I just have incorporated the tools that I do have. And that I do know, and I use them at will. And I forgive myself for not having the most perfect daily routine on the planet. Hmm, that is so good. And now I just remembered what I was going to share. Or the question I was gonna ask you is, because like, first of all, my work here is done when you’re saying so I pulled my card. And then I went to my pendulum. So if you if I could get in my time machine and go back to Jen when I first met her and been like Jan, in 2022. This is literally a quote from your interview. So I pulled a card, and then I took out my pendulum. So for someone listening, that’s maybe like, I don’t have a deck of cards, which by the way, why the cards get a deck of card. How do you lending.com For slash cards, please buy a deck of the space for magic cards because they’re fun, right?
43:52
But like, what was your gateway drug to like this kind of stuff? Was it cards first was a pendulum was a tarot card reading? What was the? That is a good question. You know, when when I started working with you, I did not choose you because you were intuitive. You were at that time doing something really different. But
44:16
I’m pretty sure I was hiding it. Oh, yeah. Okay. You would on our calls sometimes say like, this just came in for me. I remember doing a Reiki session. This was more than 15 years ago with a woman who was talking about the vibration on the planet and I just kept nodding like I knew what the hell she was talking about. I had no idea. And so I have had a lot of little knocks on the door and I think that the best thing I could have done for myself was I never closed any of the windows or doors. I just always nodded like, oh, okay, that obviously means something to you. Oh, okay. Okay. So I think it was like a lot of different little things, but just being open to like when somebody talked about crystals, I was not like, That’s ridiculous. That’s ridiculous.
44:59
or when you would say, Oh, I’ve gotta hit or your guides are saying this or like, I just always leaned into the possibility because honestly, like, what the hell problem? Could it be like leaning in? Like, what if it works? What if it’s okay? Like I always kind of felt like, okay, my pragmatic brain and I just I do have a very pragmatic, you know, concrete sequential brain. So it rages against all this, but I just kind of decided like, what if it works, and then all, all of it just kind of like chipped away. But it was mostly like when you and I would be working together and you’d be like this intuitive hit just came and I just kind of leaned in, huh? Oh, I love that. Because I try and remember I, I think my definitely my first gateway drug was a was many masters many lives the book. Yeah. Which I read back in when I was in my 20s. But like, really, for this work was my first Oracle Card Deck. That was really the thing that gave me a bit more structure and focus around getting messages and understanding them and believing in them. So that was why I was I was actually that was the question of that. Yeah, I guess I didn’t do but I would say that. For me, the trigger had to probably be Reiki because I’m like, What do you mean, you’re going to do something and your hands aren’t going to be on me? What are you talking about? And then energy work? Like what the hell is that? That’s ridiculous. And then like you just like, Oh, my God, I feel so good. I feel like my soul got a massage. Let me have more of that. So I just leaned in. And you know what’s so fascinating. I’m sort of plugging myself here. So forgive me, Jen on your interview, but I just had three occurrences happen. And the third one was just now in this, in this interview, where I just remembered, you were the first person that I used oracle cards, it was this team that told me to guide you on your sales page copy using oracle cards. I was just thinking about that the other day. That’s so funny, you bring that up? Yeah, because I’m looking from my office window, I can see where we were standing by my
47:05
when we did that. And so I feel like this is coming back around to to I don’t know if I’m supposed to do this work or whatever. But because of that, I started quietly offering sales page energy readings, where I would just scan a sales page, tell people where they had energetic blocks. And then I would choose cards to give them what needed to shift on the page. And a woman just messaged me, I did this for her four or five years ago. And she said, Patti, I just want to let you know that on my sales page, there was a testimonial. And you told me I should remove it that the woman had deep jealousy for me. And she would be energetically trying to harm me. And I don’t usually give people those kinds of messages. Yeah. And she said, it just happened. Oh, so it was yes. So it must have been like four years because I think it was like about the year it was right. The year my father died. That was when I stopped really doing a lot of work around the business stuff. So it had to demand and but it took close to four years for that to come. Full circle. And it seems like lately over the last like two or three months, I’m getting a lot of messages from people, or through people like you that are reminding me of how much more powerful believing in the information we get from the other side, the veil is then the shit our mind comes up with. Hmm, that intuition tapping into that. Yeah, yeah, because that testimonial that was on her site, she said was one of her most loyal customers. And now she’s like, saying something not nice about her to a lot of people is my understanding. So anyway, thank you for letting me just wander off with my like mental brain off to whatever like thought process found me still, Jen for someone listening if they have a business. And they are interested in understanding how to work with you to help get help with their content creation. What’s, where do you want them going? What do you want them looking at? Or how do you want them contacting you? Yeah, I mean, I’m kind of everywhere online. If you look for Jen Liddy content. I’m on Instagram and Facebook at Jen Liddy coach. But one of the things that people really find the most helpful in terms of creating content that feels good to them is a planner that I have. It’s called the customized content planner. And I created it in response to all the bullshit nonsense planners that are out there for people and for the people out there who are making content so complex. I have just simplified it to the point where you’re just going to be like, I can’t believe I didn’t
49:59
come up with this myself. And you get a lot of great examples because I’m a teacher I want I want to give you examples. And I think we learn great, much better through examples. So you go to Jenliddy.com/contentplanner, and you can download that. But really, if you’re a social media person, I’m on Instagram. I spend most of my time on Instagram. I have a Facebook page, but it’s basically tumbleweeds, because it’s Facebook. And I would just love to hear if you listen to this conversations, shoot me a DM and tell me you know, like, you thought of this very wandering conversation. I’ll be I’ll be I can’t wait to see what you title this conversation baddie. Me neither because I think Phyllis is going to have to title it.
50:42
Jen and I have the same Podcast Producer. Thanks, Phil.
50:48
We love you.
50:51
All right, everyone. Well, Jen is just, she’s just a fun, fabulous person. Any chance you get to know her and to be in her world? value that I promise you? You follow her on Instagram? Is that what we do on Instagram? I don’t even know. Yeah, well, God bless him for not knowing I wish I didn’t know that. But yes, follow me on Instagram.
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Whether you are into content or creation, or because I think you’ll you’ll find yourself just falling in love with Jen like I did from when I first met her. And remember, make space for magic in your life. Have a great week. Jen. Thank you for being here. Thanks, Patti.
51:33
Hey, thanks for listening. If you know someone who needs to hear this message, please share this episode with them. And if you’re feeling really generous, I’d love for you to leave us a review at your favorite podcast app. It helps us reach many more people and it fills my heart with so much joy. When I hear what you have to say about what I’ve shared. I’m cheering for your success. Have an amazing day. And don’t forget, always create space for magic.
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