Last week one of my clients was really angry with her husband. He had completely forgotten she had a business event that night. When he asked “Where are you going?” her blood started to boil!
She did not feel supported. How was she supposed to create success when he was making it so hard?!!!
It did to me.
There have been so many times when I was convinced that I could succeed faster and more easily if I only had a more supportive husband (or a kid who did their homework without me checking, or a parent that didn’t need me …)
The truth is that if we are blaming others for not supporting us or feeling like we have too much on our shoulders we’ve got to look to ourselves first. When I told my client this she said:
So my husband’s not the problem… I am?
Well sort of. I told her that her husband was a dumb ass for forgetting where she was going because she had told him THREE times already that day. But generally he is a good, supportive guy. Most of her anger was really fear that she would not succeed. And because that fear felt really BIG for her, her ego repackaged it as anger at her husband.
So where do I go from here? she asked.
You’ve probably been where my client is. The same place I’ve been many, many times. You might not be blaming your unsupportive partner for your problems but you could be pointing to something or someone outside yourself as the reason you haven’t succeeded.
So I’m going to share with you my super secret formula to get out of this place of overwhelm and loneliness. It’s the same steps I share with my clients:
1. Ask your soul what it needs and wants right now and take action on those desires
2. Ask for help, clearly and with grown up words, especially if you have a partner or spouse.
3. Bring support on in your business – even if you have to pay for it.
For my client that meant increasing the hours her Virtual Assistant was working in her business and having a discussion with her husband to help him understand why his dumb-ass- ness (not a grown up word) hurt her feelings and what he needed to do different next time.
For me it usually means taking a day off from work and giving myself some breathing room.
For you it might mean taking a nap.
If you are experiencing anything my client experienced or are just feeling plain overwhelmed and exhausted, I promise you that you cannot keep going the way you are going.
You must care for yourself and give yourself the support you need. I know that feels scary. I know it feels like if your soul tells you it needs a nap and you actually take that nap that your business will not survive. I promise you, it will!
I know that you might feel that you don’t have the money to hire any help. Look really closely at that belief. It has been my experience that when we invest properly in our businesses, our businesses grow. Can you afford NOT to hire support?
And here is something that is really, really important. If you have a deep desire to enjoy success and joy (at the same time) – it is critical that you take responsibility for the level of support you receive. That won’t always feel comfortable OR easy but it will create miracles both inside and outside your relationships that will last a lifetime!