Two days ago we dropped Little K off to college. The days leading up to her departure were filled with reminiscing. Hers mostly. It was as if, alongside packing sheets and snacks, towels and underwear, she was packing memories.
“Remember this…” “What I loved so much about this…”
It was pure joy hearing all the treasures she was packing away.
We also covered tougher times and talked about how she got through things … used them to make her stronger or at least more empathetic to others.
Then we got to the part of her story where we made the tough decision to leave the (Catholic) church. She didn’t remember the full journey, the long discussions, the time frames – she wanted me to explain it again so I did.
I finished the story with this… the hardest part of that decision was worrying I wouldn’t do a good enough job keeping her and her brother connected to God. I told her what I wanted for both of them in terms of faith and said “So what I did…”
I had planned to tell her the things I tried to do. Planning to wrap up that sentence with “… I still wonder if I got it right” but she cut me off.
As I said “So what I did…” she finished with “…was make our house a church.”
Whoa! I can’t tell you what that one sentence did for my heart.
As I’ve navigated motherhood there have been SO MANY PLACES where I did my best but always wondered… was it enough? Here Little K was telling me yes, where faith was concerned, it was plenty.
Since that conversation I’ve been wondering what exactly led her to feel this way…like our home was a church? There are a few pieces of the puzzle I have. We shared meals and always thanked God for our food. When we faced any kind of hard time I reminded my kids to not just look to Matt and I for answers but also talk to God.
But those pieces don’t necessarily build a “Church” but then it hit me…
I prayed.
I prayed often for God to help me raise these kids. To be present in our home. To show me how to do this. I asked for help on this so many times it was an almost daily prayer.
So here is why I am sharing this with you. Whatever your “church” is .. God will help you build it. And I don’t mean making your home a place of faith, although that is certainly a worthy goal. I mean whatever dream is precious to you.. Especially one you think you may have compromised by a decision you’ve made or a rule you decided to break … ask God for help.
You may have no idea how to bring that dream to life but She does. She’s likely been working behind the scenes helping build it for you for years.
One day you’ll look back and see something magnificent came together … all while you were praying.
You are precious to the Divine. Trust Her to help.
WIth love,
Patty
PS “Help me” is a full prayer.
PPS If the word “God” doesn’t resonate with you please replace it with a word that does. I truly believe the word is not important … its the connection we have.
