As I’ve been looking critically at everything I do in my life and business, Facebook has risen to the surface as a major source of discomfort. I have long since ridden myself of the addiction to checking it many times a day but I check more than I should.
I know this because I’m writing this post. I’m dedicating an entire entry to Facebook. Why?
It is the source of a conundrum – I’ve committed to not doing anything that doesn’t feel 100% right and yet Facebook often leaves me irritated, annoyed or just plain exhausted.
It also lets me follow my friends and family. It helps me track down new books, restaurants and adventures of all kinds. My favorite part of Facebook is being able to watch the children of friends and family scattered around the globe grow up.
And therein lies the conundrum – it feeds me and it drains me. I was leaning towards scaling back my time on Facebook to maybe once or twice a month but I have so many friends that it would be challenging to sift through the feed to get to the good stuff. I think its easier to have a 10 minute look-see each night.
I was content with that solution until I had a big A-Ha in my therapists office today. The things and people we judge have much to teach us. The greatest source of my dis-ease with Facebook is that I can find myself spiraling into a place where I question whether I’m enough – enough of a mom, wife, coach, entrepreneur, decorator, dog enthusiast (I don’t even have a dog). And, of course, am I doing enough – enough healthy eating, cooking organic (is that even a thing), reading to my kids, giving them EXPERIENCES, smiling enough… enough enough enough!
But if a post from a few over-zealous friends can leave me feeling like I’m not enough I’ve got bigger issues than my Facebook feed. That shit can only stick if there is a seed of truth inside me to hold it. And truth be told I’m not sure I know that I’m enough.
So the vote is in – basically I love to hate Facebook. But for now I’m embracing it as my teacher. If something tweaks me I’m going to let it teach me. For now. Then if someone tweaks me over and over again I think I’ll just unfollow them.
I won’t unfriend them because I’d be afraid of hurting their feelings. Because I’m a people pleaser. But that is an issue for another day at the therapists office.
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