Can You Please Butt the F*** Out Of This Mom’s Life?!

Yesterday, the story of Storm Stocker, the baby being raised without his or her gender being made public, created an intense debate publicized by the media.  You can find stories here, here and pretty much all over (just Google it).

Storm’s mother, Kathy Witterick, defended the family’s choice not to uncover the sex of their baby saying, “The idea that the whole world must know our baby’s sex strikes me as unhealthy and voyeuristic.”  And that the “strong, lightning-fast, vitriolic response was a shock.”

I try to be a peaceful person (emphasis on the try).  In most situations I can see both sides of a debate and allow for differences of opinion.  But I just can’t hold my tongue in this case.

I don’t agree or disagree with this mother’s decision but I strongly support her right to make it!

I appreciate that there is a feeling that this is not “normal” so it feels scary to many people.  But from my understanding, the research and studies that would be required to understand whether this is healthy or unhealthy just don’t exist.   And yet a number of people have decided they know best how this family should run their home.

So many of my clients are women who have ignored their own inner knowledge of what was right for themselves and their family in exchange for some version of motherhood dictated by the “norm” and “media.”  They feel disconnected from their lives and overwhelmed by their life.  Once these same women learn to turn inward for their answers, their well-being and the overall well-being of their families inevitably increases.

Every single day parents, especially mothers, are bombarded with messages about what it takes to be a good mother from completely UNQUALIFIED experts.  And somewhere along the way we’ve come to believe that if we don’t incorporate all this “knowledge” into our parenting, we are not good mothers.

This needs to end and it needs to end now.  I firmly believe we have yet to recognize how debilitating this outward focus is to us as individuals, our families and the country at large.

I realize you may have a strong opinion about Kathy Witerrick’s decision not to reveal the sex of her baby but could you stop for a minute and ask yourself what informs that opinion?  Do you have access to some gender research not yet published?  Do you have special knowledge about this particular situation?

Or do you simply have a gut feeling about it?

And could that gut feeling possibly be tinged with a bit of fear or ignorance?

Everyone is entitled to an opinion.  That is one of the gifts of being human.  I just have a request for those of you who feel exceptionally open to sharing those opinions about other people’s parenting choices – and I make this request with absolutely no authority – on behalf of all mother’s doing the very best we can with the information we have access to:

Can you please butt the F*** out of this Mom’s life!

Image By: Toronto Star, The Canadian Press, Steve Russell / AP
Read more: http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/article/Canadian-mother-defends-keeping-gender-secret-1398765.php#ixzz1O8FL9vh7